Ted Rall for December 03, 1998

Transcript:

Impeachment is too harsh. Censure is too wimpy. But here are some Clinton punishment alternatives. An innovative short sheet sanction would require the president to sleep in total discomfort for the remainder of his term. (Bill Clinton: My feet are touching the blanket and not the sheet - even Monica wasn't worth this agony!) Status: favored by judiciary committee. A basic cable disapprobation would eliminate all premium channels from the white house television hook-up. (Bill Clinton: My playboy channel is gone! God is dead!) Status: proposed by Jeff Greenfield. A compromise literary penalty would force Clinton to read the works of Norman Mailer and pass weekly quizzes to remain in office. (Bill Clinton: It isn't too late to resign...) Status: backed by rightist republicans. A reality reprimand would make the president live like an ordinary person for one year. (Man: Your raise this year is 2 percent) (Bill Clinton: But my rent is up 12 percent! Rot in hades, Ken Star!) Status: Supported by Iowans.