Ted Rall for November 15, 1999

Transcript:

Election 2000: Your issue primer The issue: gay softball - good clean fun or waste of taxpayer money? Liberal: So what if it costs $42 million a year? It builds pride! Moderate: Couldn't gay softball make do with less? Conservative: Godless fags belong in Foosball parlors! The issue: Al Gore's thinning hairline - get real or keep up the fiction? Liberal: Who does he think he's kidding? Loooo-ser! Moderate: That is not hair paint. Conservative: No comment. The issue: Free trade with Tajikistan - amusing or irresponsible distraction from real issues? Liberal: Tajiki-what? Moderate: Who cares? Conservative: Tajiks work for 30 cents per day. I own a corpse factory there. The issue: Should voting be mandatory? Liberal: People who don't vote should be killed. Moderate: I'll kill all apathetic pigs myself. Conservative: Whatever. Voting: it makes a difference that matters!