Ted Rall for December 18, 2004

Transcript:

Let George W. Bush guide you to a better life. Lesson one: the cup is never half-empty, it's completely full. I am the world's richest and most powerful man!!! Bow before me! I own you all! Two: loyalty is everything. I'm uncomfortable with the fact that you murdered your previous girlfriends. I killed them because they felt the same way. Speed dating. Three: never give up. I gave you a $100, not $5. No you didn't. OK, it was $50. Don't have one. $20. No. $10. Four: apologies are for other people. I'm sorry to have even implied that you killed any of your girlfriends. Five: there are two kinds of people - positive optimists and naysaying whiners. This rocks! Top of the world, top of the world. Six: you have to love yourself before you can love others. You deserve a medal! You're #1! Get a job! Bum!