Ted Rall for June 23, 2007

Transcript:

George W. Bush: I, like many Americans, have felt the pinch of a tight popularity market. Therefore, I am releasing surplus popularity points from the strategic popularity reserve. I already feel less liked. Woman: You had a 90% approval rating. You were smart to put aside %15 for a rainy day. Man: Rising popularity prices require us to suck up the achieve the same likability previously obtained through charm. But if we tap our reserve now, how will we handle full-fledged hatred? Woman: Dinner's ready, jerkoff. Bush: But we're reviled. Man: We learn from failure. Sign here and boost yourself up to "tolerated". Faced with growing shortages of popularity, George W. Bush is forced to act. The strategic popularity reserve is set aside during periods of plentiful popularity so that shortfalls can be alleviated when they arise. Some pollsters worry, however, that tapping the reserve to counter minor shortfalls sets a dangerous precedent. Fortunately, the Bush Administration is staffed by experienced veterans of the popularity industry.