That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 04, 2021

Freud begins to question whether he was right about which sex has envy of which body part.

Every night Grandpa would dirty up that same spot on table so the maid would have to polish it the next day.

Everyday Charles ‘drops’ something under the table so he can get a gander at his maid’s gams.

His maid picked up the litter he’d strewn / ‘neath the table, and whistled a tune. / And, despite what it said / in the paper he read, / six days early he sees a full moon.

Malcolm’s musings ultimately meet a brick wall when he remembers his least favorite dictum, “No sex please, we’re British!”

Granpa grew in Victorian times, and even now, 45 years later, he gets a little bit distracted by an exposed ankle.

Every once in a while Granpa hides the flowers. If he was a little younger, he’d be hiding the salami as well.

Yes, it’s somewhere under there. Let me know when you find my contact.

Jeeves in later life wondering if this would be a permissible moment to (dare he?) disregard the code of the roosters—or was that Woosters? He’s old, and Bertie’s always drunk these days. Hmmmmm. A bit of slap and tickle? Quite a pickle!

Bark like a dog Mrs Green!

“Omigod! What’s that smell? Did you fart, milord?”

“Peerage don’t fart, Molly.”

“Well, then it must have been me.”

“Must have.”

By the calendar it’s Hallowe’en, / and the doctor watched Christopher clean. / For tonight’s masquerade/ he is dressed as a maid, / but Chris loudly refused the vaccine. /// The doc (who is dressed as Noel Coward), / was ethically not empowered / to inject Chris right there / in his raised derrière. / Doc must settle for masked and well showered. /// Chris had read on his Facebook account / ivermectin would COVID surmount. / Then he travelled down South / with an uncovered mouth, / and infected the Texas recount.

I remember sitting in a notary’s office a couple of decades ago, on the third floor of a building. There were glass doors leading onto a terrace, and a cleaning woman was standing there, leaning over to clean the notary’s sign. Said notary sat in his chair ogling her legs etc which were revealed every time she stretched down a bit to get another swipe at the sign.

Sez’ here in the paper the po-lice are looking for a pre-vert. He has a habit of knocking things off the table and calling for the maid to com’ en clean it up. You ever hear’d such a thing?

You can tell that his Lordship is bored/ when a sight that he might have ignored/ has seized his attention../ by the way, did I mention/ that it’s been 30 years since he scored?

She’s scarcely an object of lust/ though to study her he feels he must/ he’s a student of “ashes”/ and perhaps this one passes/ though she’s only just here to dust. (“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…”.)

The “Releasing Gas Quick” position.

Lots of maids could tell tales about giving head when they want their monthly bonus, but it looks like Maud and Mister Jones took the thing a little more literally.

“Get off of my carpet.”

“As long as you’re down there.”

“gladys, have you heard of pon farr…?”

Nothing wrong with taking in the scenery, and at his age the “thought” is as good as the thrill……..and he knows he ain’t dead yet!

Looks like he has it maid.

I say, Jeeves, could you come in here and move the new hassock closer to my chair?

Elsie, I told you yesterday to quit exposing yourself to me.

He’ll get an even better view when she goes to straighten those paintings on the wall.

Why Steven Spielberg? Just the resemblance?

Grandpa contemplates the wisdom of the Bard: “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends.”

1800’s porn.

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t seem to find the blue pill you dropped.”

The first documented instance of “Stuck Porn” (look it up!).

She stoops to conquer: This roughly jumbo envelope size painting, inscribed with 

C. SPENCELAYH. 

at its lower right, is privately owned. It was sold by Christie’s (London) for £80,500 on December 11, 2013, roughly 20 years after being sold by that auction house for £30,800 on March 12, 1992 (I’ll let you adjust for inflation, convert £ to $, etc.). The auction details can be found online by searching for 

Spencelayh 1931 stoops site:christies.com 

(of the top 8 search engines, only excite.com doesn’t accept the site:; I don’t have the time to figure out what it uses). The most popular search engine will find the online webpage for both auctions. The most recent is found by all (except excite.com for that particular search string). It has a Lot Essay with more details about this painting. Neither mentions the 31 on the desk calendar page (which I think the artist used to say the year it was painted).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/09/masterpiece-2801.html 

So far, 6 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/09/01?comments=visible 

has the prior, and my 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2778.html 

comment has the artist info that I used to point to here. Due to copyright issues (the artist died in 1958), once again, I can’t use Wikimedia Commons for this painting. If I could, I would post the larger, different coloration image at the most recent auction webpage: 

https://www.christies.com/img/LotImages/2013/CKS/2013_CKS_01177_0046_000(charles_spencelayh_she_stoops_to_conquer123009).jpg

“See anything you like, sir?”

“Yes, I do, Betty. But sadly, everything I have that doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.”

“I enjoy ample posteriors, and am unable to dissemble. Gentlemen, do not attempt to contradict me…”

Anthony McSalotte, K.B.E.

I can’t see a thing down here.”

“Hmm, Sally. You know, the covid mask is supposed to cover your nose and mouth, not your eyes.”

There is a very fine line between an oscar nomination and a @metoo mob lynching…

He dreams of what he cannot see./ He dreams of what she could not be./ But it is my belief/ that she dreams of relief/ from a bad case of “housemaids knee”.

How far up do those legs go?

I thought that Wednesday was Rump … er … Hump Day?

She hoping that the sight of one might lead to the other.

Hmmm. If she wants it doggie-style… I’ll give her a swat with the newspaper first.

‘Twas the thirty-first day— New Year’s Eve. / Her employer just could not believe / his incredible luck! / Could it be that she’s stuck? / His intent, he hoped, she won’t conceive.

(Thank you, Ken Holman.)

HILDA! get that dust devil thats a little closer to the wall said henry while admiring her posterior, later his wife dropped the maids outfit and he didn’t want anything to do with her.

“I’m tired of revisiting Brideshead. Just once, I’d like to visit Maidsend.”

Hope all the lechers are now satisfied.

As under the table she crawls /old grandfather fondly recalls/ when he still could erect/ to at least some effect/ but that was back when he had balls…/// For the sight of a shapely behind/ or a female who’s nicely designed/is prone to expose/ what everyone knows: / the matter rules over the mind.

“I’m sure it’s under there somewhere, Miss Planchet. Please keep looking. Yes, just like that.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdBVVWIZNF4

Oh … my! That reminds me when I returned to the island with no money; and she said “You can just kiss my a**!”

Matthew 5:28 is the part / where it tells about “lust in the heart.” / If I’m damned now for thinking, / what’s to lose going slinking / to the maids room and hope she’s a tart.