That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 27, 2021

In order to payoff his debts, the Count got a side gig doing shampoo ads.

/// Though he wears ornate armor of black

and Zendaya’s wig curled down his back,

you can tell by his face

he’s that famed flying ace

from the old comic strip, Smilin’ Jack.

William like to show off his rod.

/// A Field Marshall of valor and passion,

Heinrich’s foes in a battle turned ashen.

Those who’ve fought often tell

that to make war is Hell,

but for Heinrich, it seems, war is fashion.

Le Comte de Coiffure is our topic

A fellow most frightfully “fopic”.

He takes six hours to dry..

Three more spray to apply..

And his tips are downright microscopic.

Question: How does he get all that hair inside his helmet?

Rhonda before she got her epilady

Abenazor was a mighty and fancy wizard but for some reason he was always too late casting those fart-stopping spells…

Once Heinrich grew that mustache, his heterosexuality was never questioned again.

Nice perm….

Every lifetime has at least one.

10 pounds of Heinrich in a 5 pound suit of armor.

Yes, I will be the prettiest one on the field. Wait’ll they get a load o’ my Valentine bib! Rough!

The Field-Marshal loved showing off his dickie.

fop

THIS twin has the Toni..

They found out how deep the lake was after he tried water skiing in his armor.

They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere…..

Brian May, not really enjoying Freddie’s “cavalier” phase.

Not a knight in white shining armor ladies; hard pass.

Ted Nugent when he’s not dressed for the stage.

Count Samson was actually an incredible warrior, with only one weakness.

“I say – you will disguise in some fashion what I’m ackshually holding, won’t you old chap? There’s a good lad.”

Dude, get thee to a gym.

“We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”

“Hit me with der rhythmstik! Hit me slowly; hit me quik!”

" Honestly? Yes, milord, your armor does make the Heinrich heinie look fat! And holding that silly rod isn’t going to make anyone think you don’t have a tiny ruling member."

“The Thriller at the Tiller”

Now matter how fancy the sash is, it can’t disguise that fact that your cannon is a strap-on.

Hurry, snap the picture before my hair unfurls.

It takes an extra large life jacket and skis with all of the armor on.

Having girded his loins now for his second attempt, Heinrich begins spinning the nunchucks once again.

Baron Heinrich VI of Reuss (1649-1697): 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Heinrich_VI._Graf_Reu%C3%9F_zu_Obergreiz_(1649-1697).jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/12/masterpiece-2850.html 

I couldn’t find info about this copyist, other than what’s included in or pointed to by the title URL. First work by this copyist used here.

I’ve been told that wearing a dickie / was lame and somewhat “sicky.” / But you better beware, / make fun of my hair, / and I’ll beat you with my “sticky.”

Nice obituary photo. After all, he did wear armor waterskiing.

People just don’t realize how hard it is to be the baton-twirling champion in a full set of armor.

Henri liked to don a suit of armor when he played Whack-a-Mole.

Now we know why there was never a Baron Heinrich VII of Reuss!

even though he fought well Alfonce was not the butchest guy in the army, but he had the respect of fellow service men when off duty.

Baron Heinie. It sings! :)

You gotta be good if you can waterski with your armor on.

Happy Holidays to all the great poets out there, and the people who enjoy reading them!

Another big thanks to those who posted rhymes. I should have know that you were poets after noticing that your feet were “Longfellows”.

Not only is his swash well buckled, it’s made of whole smoked salmons! This must be Curly and the Lachs.

/// Vain Sir Percy did not spare the whip.

He was harsh with the men in his grip.

One was sick of his crap.

Percy woke from his nap

with some permanent ink on his lip.

/// Percy noticed it when he undressed,

and he loved it! It gave his face “zest.”

He resolved to grow hair

where those lines were drawn there.

Then he saw the d!ck drawn on his chest.