That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 01, 2022

“Thanks for the ride. Remember, to comeback in the morning for my trip to Waterloo.”

/// Bonaparte didn’t know what to do.

A defeat like this he never knew.

As they left the Lobau,

He thought “What happens now?

The gray Danube, I cross, feeling blue.”

Napoleon couldn’t sit down because of the stick up his rear.

“Ferrymen, have any deserters come this way ?”“No sir. You’re the first!””

Russians have always looked to the French as examples of civilization. Hey, Putin, here’s a role model for you…

“Am I still in Russia ?”“No Sir, you’re in Poland.”“ Ohno! Their winters are awful..”

Worst…fishing trip…ever!

Why couldn’t I pick up Josephine in a limousine?

Umm, because they haven’t been invented yet.

Siddown, you’e rockin’. the boat.

“Who thought this white cape was a good idea in a boat? I can’t sit down in case I sit in something!”

Just because you passed the “You Must Be This Tall” sign doesn’t mean you have to stand all the time.

what is john belushi doing crawling out from under the guy behind napoleon…?

“Everyone keep an eye out for a McDonald’s…..I’m getting Hungary.”

The original Motley Crue.

Napoleon copying Washington, only it’s not the Delaware…

I hate to say I told you so, but I did warn you about this coat not being warm enough for Russia.

I feel a syndrome coming on.

He was 5’ 7" That wasn’t short for the time.

Listen here Mr. Smarty pants rower man, I know it is only an hour trip but we did forget the snacks, I’m starving, I’m in charge and I decided we will eat you.

The truth, it is said , will out -/

Be you Frenchman, or Russian, or Kraut/

And that rule applies /

to all of these guys/

And even toVlad – there’s no doubt.///

He certainly thinks he’s the Czar./

And to Russians he probably are/

But, much like the breasts/

On his flaccid white chest/

He can only push it so far…

And now that he’s rattling his nukes/

He’s eliciting worldwide rebukes/

For the crafty Chinese/

Live in terror of these/

Which could fire by the slightest of flukes …

" I need ammunition, not a ride!! "

“Some day we’ll cross the Delaware, but not today and this is just a practice run.”

Bonaparte has abandoned his men/

(That’s right- he’s done it again!)

He’s hard to embarrass/

(He’ll be welcome in Paris!)

Though he loses nine times out of ten…///

Don’t forget the Egyptian affair /

He left 40,000 men there/

They were wounded and sick/

But his exit was slick/

And he somehow convinced them: “I care..”

“I wear my hat sideways because I don’t want my ears to get wet.”

“The first one of you to make a ‘white flag of surrender’ joke goes over the side.”

Don’t worry Nappy, you’ll be comfortable on the island!

Don’t those idiots know you should never stand up in a rowboat?

I thought we were crossing the Danube. What do you mean it’s called the River Styx?

Napoleon leaving the Lobau after the defeat at the Battle of Aspern: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:NAPOLEONS_%C3%9CBERFAHRT_AUS_DER_LOBAU_.PNG 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispricelessblog.com/2022/03/masterpiece-2887 

and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Really, most people get by with just taking a towel or a bathrobe from the hotel but you, YOU have to steal the duvet!

“Don’t be so impatient. It’s a long way to St Helena.”

“Yes, my Emperor, you are a great general. But you’re a lousy sailor. Sit down.”

“The vertical stripes, sir? Well, when the boatman can no longer see them when they look over the side, they know the boat has sunk. Yes sir. That is a clever aid.”

“Sure, the American mafia will someday use cement shoes, but those haven’t been invented yet. That’s why we in the French mafia have to use cement cloaks.”

Are we there yet???? :)

I’m sorry sir, but this isn’t an all inclusive cruise … if you didn’t order a hat with white feathers before boarding, there is nothing I can do for you.

“I tried to tell you, Sire…the Hessians are on our side.”

sit down! this is how you lost at Waterloo.

All the rest of us could have waded across, but we didn’t want you to be the only one in the boat. So we decided to join you.

Thank you all, my friends- and you are my friends!

That’s an interesting boat—looks sort of Arabic.

Okay, this time I have to give the Dragoncat Award for Best LAMO to… Steve Melcher!

Brilliant work! Just… brilliant!