That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 21, 2022

According to Daddy’s diary, he plans to marry you off to the Arch-Duke of Podunk, and I’m being sent off to Usurio the elder

They thought it would be fun to read their little brother’s diary, but they actually found in a bit disturbing instead.

/// Signe Hansen and sis Henriette,

read a journal that got them upset.

In their late Mother’s diary,

tales of love affairs fiery.

That prim woman was once a coquette.

/// She wrote of the scores who had kissed her.

It would seem that no man could resist her.

And the husband she had

wasn’t really their Dad,

explained Henriette to her (half?) sister.

Rose and Alice stumble upon mom’s bodice ripper. Fall head over heels for some guy named Fabio.

“It was a dark and stormy night…”

/// In this book that their teacher assigned

are ideas that perturbed each girl’s mind.

It says blacks were enslaved,

and some whites misbehaved.

They complained— and the teacher “resigned.”

Two dresses, two sizes, two colours, one pattern. Yup. That’s the difference between “home made” and “hand made.” These are obviously home made.

" Wow, Jutta: ‘One morning, Gregor Samsa awoke to find that he’d been turned into a gigantic vermin..’ .. that’s a pretty catchy opening line.."“I know, Henrietta, but for my money, you still can’t beat ‘Call me Ishmael’..”

I don’t think just reading these incantations is enough. We need to get the pointy hats, toads and a big black cauldron. It’s going to be ever so much fun to get rid of that icky Timmy!

Little Red-Orange Riding Hood indoors showing her sister the journal she purloined from Mr. Wolf’s house depicting his many howling lycanthropic misadventures. Yes, yes. They’re entranced!

“Then Adam, having bitten into the apple, looked at Eve and said……..” What does that word mean, Pia?

The ‘Cosmopolitan’ centerfold ain’t what it use to be.

“Collars are ‘Out’ this season.”

“I can’t believe you are enjoying this stupid Iliad assignment. It’s all Greek to me!”

So, the area below the curve is related to the slope of the curve? Sure. That makes sense,

“Mary, Mary, quite contrary, Trim that bush, Its too damn hairy.”“Jenny who is this Andrew Dice Clay guy?”

What’s a throbbing member?

Today, “Stable Boys” are out of fashion and “Pool Boys” are in.

“I still don’t understand how I’m supposed to look up the spelling of a word if I don’t know how to spell it in the first place” said every third-grader across the nation.

“ ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….’ – well, which one was it, dammit ?”

“Find a picture of that manhood thing.”

So…this is what graphic sex looks like?

“‘Blossoming petals of womanhood’? What do flowers have to do with any of this?”

“It says ‘Greenish staining of human skin may result from a gamut of causes, such as chlorosis, exogenous copper, resolving ecchymosis, green textile dyes, apocrine and eccrine chromhidrosis, hyper biliverdinemia, chloromas…’ So maybe we should get you to a doctor, or maybe you should just start wearing red, like me.”

Catherine and Nichole make some disturbing discoveries when they read their mother’s diary.

Dang! I wish she’d get her own book & quit reading over my shoulder. When I’m ready to turn the page – she’s always two paragraphs behind me. Ugh!

The Artist’s Sisters Signe and Henriette Reading a Book: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:Constantin Hansen, Kunstnerens søstre Signe og Henriette" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yandex, Yahoo, Bing, Duckduckgo, and Ecosia search engines) in the address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and click the first File: found for info and links that point to more info (best viewed by Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2898 (March 21, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 7 works, by this artist, have been used here. The June 5, 2020, strip has the prior. The artist info URLs in my comment there are among my blog comment’s here links.

Ooooooo … it looks like that page folds out somehow!

Lady Chatterley’s Lover???

Can you believe it?! Girls are finally allowed to read!! Next, maybe we can get our own collegiate swimming competition, they couldn’t possibly mess that up!

ya know… never once have I seen a heaving bosom in real life.

Going through the Sears catalog to mark what they want for Christmas.

“Granted, you’re a good ghost writer. But how did you manage to be my ghost when I’m not dead?”

Found in the middle school library…