That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 02, 2022

Like most bourgeois children, one year-old Anna was already insisting on couture clothes.

is that Whistler’s Baby and her mum?

“But mommy, I identify as a boy.”

And of course, the baby dress, like all female clothing, didn’t have any pockets. The oppression started early.

Kevin always wanted to be the first woman to pilot a hot air balloon.

/// Sewing dresses Mom ran out of thread,

so she pinned them together, instead.

Her child tried one for size

and, to Mama’s surprise,

blood is staining her legs crimson red.

“A blue dress with my red shoes? Are you serious? Please tell me that I’m adopted.”

It’s rare for a lad to engage/

With fashion at such a young age/

But by three he will dwell/

In the House of Chanel/

His designs there will be all the rage.///

When he reaches the age of four/

He’ll be working for Christian Dior/

By the time he is nine/

He will have his own line/

But from there he’ll continue to soar..///

He will peak at the age of ten/

But at twelve, he’s pubescing- and then/

He’ll discover he’s male!/

That’s the end of the trail../

And he’ll never be heard from again.

Don’t turn… If I ignore this cat litter long enough, Jenny will be old enough for making her take care of it before I have to deal with it!

So, who are you today little Robert or cranky Roberta? I know, let’s make really fun and be Robert wearing a dress and using the litter box.

Cautionary Tale No. __

In Denmark, 1861, it’s said

The nursemaid took young Karl from his bed

He played with pins tainted with lead

He pricked himself, and now he’s dead.

.

The nursemaid felt dreadful, surely

The police came and acted somewhat surly

Her guilt was adjudicated purely

(And by the way, her name WAS Shirley)

.

And if you think this tale’s a crock

And if it gave a nasty shock

Do not throw a verbal rock —

It’s modeled per Hilaire Belloc.

Does the child have a Velcro back, or is static cling keeping the kid on her lap?

Picking out threads for the Infant Jesus of Prague.

Looks like you bought it from WalMart…..

The baby quickly grew out of The American Girl® clothes.

It’s a conundrum that cannot be hid; / To daily dress a growing kid. / They grow so fast / that buying clothes meant to last / Is a waste for all the good that it did.

“I love the style, but do you have it in any other colors?”

“It won’t make my butt look big, will it Mummy?”

“No dear, your nappy does that.”

Rosa the ventriloquist trying to figure out how to dress her dummy without using her right hand.

“Look, Mom, there’s plenty of evidence that you’re colorblind. One: That dress with these socks. Two: That wall.”

Okay Mom, I’ve got the blue dress, so how about the rest of my man-getting outfit. (Warning you may get an earworm if you understand this comment. Hint: Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels)

When Sarah learned what all went into make a baby, she decided a doll would do.

Home interior with a young mother dressing her daughter: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:Edvard Bentzen - Interiør fra et borgerhjem, 1861.png" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first File: found, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2988 (September 2, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my artist info comment. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here. The February 25, 2022, strip has the prior.

Strained peas for a month? You wish!

“Yes, Ernest, I’ll make you a dress just like this one of Marcelline’s.”

It’s a kid. It grows.

Once again, she had forgotten. Washing them in hot water causes them to shrink.

When we adopted a triple-wide dachshund, we replaced half his kibble with salt-free green beans and had him our second sveltest in a matter of weeks

Mommy: Holy crap!

/// By their window a painting’s been hung,

now ignored by both Mom and her young.

What it shows is a tryst

‘twixt a huge hairy fist

and the damsel to whom the ape clung.

/// Will Steve post a new Masterpiece soon?

Or does Labor Day mean no “cartoon” ?

He did post one last year,

but, I can’t wait, I fear.

We are Europe-bound next afternoon.

/// In the morning, while I am still home,

I’ll check in before off, first, to Rome.

Two weeks plus, it may be

there’ll be less stuff from me,

but I’ll try to write rhymes while I roam.

Took the day off?

Taking the holiday off?

“Mummy, the cat died a month ago; do we STILL have to keep her sh** bowl as a souvenir ?”