That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 30, 2022

Little Anna was really excited about her birthday present.

/// Henrik had a big speech to prepare.

Some quotations would give it some flair.

Juul said Bartletts, that’s where!

You’ll find every quote there.

He now thinks she did not mean the pear.

His entire estate was invested in that pear. Pears were the big thing before the tulips fad.

it’s calledan avacado…once they invent a thing called the Superbowl , they willbe a big hit!

Daughter. Watch while daddy makes this magic egg disappear and reappear in your nanny’s bodice.

For the loves of my life something that’s not an apple repeat after me I Pear.

(Kid): Pare me a pair of pears, Pere!

Mimi and her mini Mi.

The Ridges Family: The Ridges have Ruffles.

Mildred and Howard wondering if they misheard when their priest said to find redemption through pear.

For some reason I keep thinking this scene is going to turn into a YouTube infomercial telling us that by eating one pear a day it’ll clean all the poop out of my intestines, improve my eyesight, lower my blood pressure, and make me more attractive to the opposite sex.I can only hope. Let me get my credit card!

A painter named Cornelis/

Caught a moment of domestic bliss:/

The painter’s astute/

(He also does fruit !)/

It don’t get no better than this !///

Cornelis, he comes from the “Noort”/

From a small town that clings to a “Voort”/

But he moved South when “Jong”/

To join with the throng/

Who flourish in Amsterdam’s “poort”///

His paintings exuded allure/

And some of them even endure/

But Rembrandt and Vermeer/

Are the biggest dogs here:/

Van der Voort remains somewhat obscure.///

Wow, this guy is quite the provider.

The family here portrayed/

Have visibly got it made/

But the sight of the Spanish/

Can cause them to vanish -/

They’re rich, but they’re also afraid.

The theory of this suave dashing fellow

Known as Aloysius Alonzo Majello

Was the world is shaped like a pear

And he meant to take up ‘gainst a dare

His postulate was wobbly as Jello®.

.

There was a snide Doubting Doris around

Who mocked what Majello claimed he had found

This girl was of great certainty convinced

That his madness was quite firmly cinched

And to prove it she felt duty bound.

.

But Doris had always been quiet and shy

She could not correct men, might as she try.

Her speaking voice became garbled,

As a high-pitched tiny bird it warbled

Especially ‘round a good-looking guy.

.

So Doris hit on a tactic rather drastic

She made a dummy of wood coated with mastic

With her ventriloquist’s voice skills

She gave Majello goose flesh and chills

And convinced him his theory was too fantastic

.

Of course Majello was soon gratified

When he had made Doubting Doris his bride.

He forgot his silly ambition

And his dumb superstition —

Until Magellan’s crew came back from THEIR ride.

In Dutch erotic literature of the day, the part where they tear off each other’s clothes is three chapters long.

Daddy showing off the results of his successful prostrate surgery.

“Notice how this pear and my wife’s head have the same shape?”

“Pretty cool, huh? I carved it myself!”

Enterpreneur Pear Van der Bosc was a great believer in product placement.

“Oh, great, he’s bragging about his kidney stone again.”

One wonders exactly how/

He got over that towering brow/

And achieved a position/

To manage coition/

With his most unattractive “vrouw”*/

DeSantis just dropped off what’s left of their FEMA aid package.

Proof that spelling matters – when you place an ad in the paper looking for an au pair.

Portrait of a Family: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Cornelis van der Voort" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the first familie text string, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly lifesize painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3003 (September 30, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

“And you said I didn’t give a fig.”

The first known case of Pictionary: Pear + Ridge + Family

The ruff, which was worn by men, women and children, evolved from the small fabric ruffle at the neck of the shirt or chemise. Ruffs served as changeable pieces of cloth that could themselves be laundered separately while keeping the wearer’s doublet or gown from becoming soiled at the neckline. The stiffness of the garment forced upright posture, and their impracticality led them to become a symbol of wealth and status.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruff_(clothing)

Though gentleman thinks about fruit / but his wife may not follow suit / but if he gets a pear / right out of thin air / her opinion will quickly be moot.

I heard you take a long time to paint.

So I brought my lunch.

Umm, it’s part of a package.

Cornelis, I need this portrait to really show my wealth. Fancy clothes with ruffs for everyone, and a whole pear!