That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 20, 2022

The letters from his mistress were so hot, he had to wear sunglasses to read them.

Why is this guy wearing sunglasses at night? Does he think he’s the Terminator?

/// Paper held next to flame, one would think,

will ignite and burn up in a blink.

But the note must be warm

for the letters to form;

they’d used milk as invisible ink.

Benjamin Franklin with one of his many futuristic inventions; Welded Paper!

Hey dummy, take off the dark glasses so you don’t have to hold the candle so close to the paper. Shhhesh!

I guess you can hold a candle to his story…

It wasn’t that Ed couldn’t afford the electric bill. It was that Rembrandt had plenty of dark paint, but couldn’t afford the other colors.

Rembrandt Peale…an economical way to be able to brag that you have a Rembrandt in the living room.

Whenever he wears these glasses/

Some say “he don’t know where his a$$ is.”/

Some Professors, inimical/

To his theories chemical,/

Claim he’s “passing ‘ignoble’ gasses”..///

Lately, somebody sent him a note/

Suggesting that he devote/

The bulk of his time/

To meter and rhyme/

And the asinine anecdote..///

His reaction was certain and swift/

And provided a spiritual lift

He consigned their claim/

To the cleansing flame/

And he set their critique adrift..///

He’s devoting himself anew/

To pursuits he is bound to pursue:/

From his dear Bunsen Burner/

Turned to Rembrandt and Turner./

He’s inflicting his efforts on you.

Hieronymus Blues, ancestor of Jake and Elwood, receives a mysterious midnight missive.

I wear my sunglasses at night (now you’re stuck with that tune for the rest of the day, Hahahahaha!)

Dr. James Xavier, Sr., fiddling with theories on the Fringes of Science and What-Man-was-not-meant-to-know is the first to achieve the seeming impossible and becomes … “The Man with X-ray Eyes”! … even before x-rays were generally known to exist.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/X:The_Man_with_the_X-rayEyes

Too bad there was not a sequel, “The Son of The Man with X-ray Eyes Goes to College.” That would, of course, be R-rated.

It comes from a girl he once dated/

Whose “monthly event” is belated./

She says he is to blame/

So he’s lit a small flame/

And it’s being incinerated.

Don’t put candles on your tree!

Trying to shed some light on this mystery.

Liam Neeson looks over his hit list

He’s setting her letter aflame/

He’ll pretend that it never came./

It’s a terrible shame./

But thanks just the same/

Her offspring will not bear his name..

My college roommate did that once. One of the reasons why I loved my wife as a roommate.

My roommate said he needed the money I was giving him for the electric bill to pay his part of the rent, but this went on for 3 months before I found out (as that is how long before they turned us off).

Wearing sunglasses at night will be much cooler once neon lights are invented.

He got a job offer in the field of nuclear physics. His future’s so bright, he gotta wear shades.

Rayburn’s Ray-Bans restricted reading of the recondite and risky recipe for a rum rebellion.

Great moments in hot, burning, phallic portraiture.

Hired by a man from South Florida to destroy Top Secret Documents , Ed decided he wasn’t being paid enough to expend much effort or resources on the task.

Dude, you might want to track where that candle wax is going to drip.

Dr. Strangelove, the student years.

“Dear John: After ten years of putting up with your ridiculous fashion sense, I have given up….”

Looking for the secret code with his x-ray specs.

Corey Hart reviewing the lyrics of his biggest music hit.

“Reading by candlelight will ruin your eyesight.”

Man Reading by Candlelight: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings in the Detroit Institute of Arts" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Candlelight, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3047 (December 20, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here. The March 23, 2022, strip has the prior.

“Man Reading by Candlelight”

Issack could read better with candle, but he burned it before he knew what it said.should have used an electric light

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Herkimer was hoping his special glasses would shoot lasers to destroy the paper and he could then sell it as an NFT.

Richard Starkey reviewing bills after the Beatles separated.

“Take two teaspoons in water at bedtime, and the same at dawn.” So it doesn’t matter that I don’t know which this is.