That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 13, 2023

It’s clearly a bad date: She looks angry, and he looks constipated.

They stared past each other, knowing this was as good as it was going to get until one of them died.

“Gerald, Why is your face crooked?”

That look after you’ve been told you are not the father.

/// These young folks were too busy to pose.

(Double portraits take time, goodness knows.)

So they had fashioned these

painted wax effigies

wearing wigs and the young peoples’ clothes.

Royalty summed up.

Only 95%? That’s a VERY distant relative, as in a totally different species.

We share 98.8% of our DNA with chimpanzees!

Heck, we share something like 50% with bananas.

You must find it hard to shave with your face all pushed in like that, did you get the license number of the truck?

National Institute of General Medical Sciences: The DNA of any two people on Earth is 99.6 percent identical.

Two Italians of noble birth/

For excoriation/

To our small congregation /

Of persons of modest net worth.

He was stunned by her insult. She was surprised she didn’t think of it sooner.

Page 344 of the 1520 Sears catalog. Everything you see here for 75 guilders (undergarments sold separately).

“OK your grace, your portrait is done, now turn around, put on the wig and dress and I will add your sister.”

“Ha ha! You blinked first!”

Young Dante was so nervous when he first met Beatrice, that he spewed food all over his collar and cuffs. She and her girlfriends considered it a divine comedy.

Painting of Firenze’s version of Darby & Joan.

Why do I have to dress up and have my hair done for our christmas card portrait, but you get to show up in your bathrobe?

He whispered, Thank you, but I don’t think you should grab that while we are in public. We must look serious and royal.

Showtime at the rink, with Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding.

It’s something that no one really knows, But you can see by the eyes and the nose, Hiring models can cost you a lot, Of lira which Gio has not, So he pays one model to wear different clothes.

So…..we don’t like each other, and we’re cousins, and we’re uncle and niece, and we’re aunt and nephew, so……when’s the wedding?

Yikes !!

It doesn’t matter. Your marriage was arranged when you were five years old.

Here’s lookin’ at ya’!

Two unrelated humans have 99.9% of their DNA in common.

Cross dresser, before and after.

“…what?! No, of course I didn’t! She who smelt it, dealt it!”

She looked jealously at his fur collar while her dress only went to her armpits and she was freezing her t!ts off.

She really hated the fact that he has better hair than hers.

“It was your turn to pay the electric bill.”

“No, I paid it last time.”

When playing cards come to life, they still look 2D.

Double Portrait of a Young Man and Young Woman: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Heads of women in art" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string 89.2, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3236 (December 13, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). I have added a comment there with the extremely sparse info about this artist I could find. Only work by him used here so far.

You guys do know that’s Richard III, right?

If silence is golden, this date is a pirates chest.

“Double Portrait of a Young Man and a Young Woman,” 1520

I’m sorry darling i have to go and discover the Caribbean.

It is considered tacky if you don’t unhypnotize them once you are finished.

She: What did you expect me to wear to bed in this cold castle? And why are you wearing my fur jacket?

A marriage of convenience for both of them. Co-beards?

For Thursday:

A volume of vast dimensions/

Absorbed Abercrombie’s attentions:/

But in order to read/

He knew he would need/

A table with extra extensions.

When he laid the huge book on the table/

He discovered that he was unable/

Through the index to search/

For the table would lurch/

It appeared that the thing was unstable!