That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 20, 2023

I’ve got my hash pipe

Hurry & finish the painting – the insects in the wig are making my scalp itch!

/// Poniatowski, the King of the Poles,

was defamed by pre-internet trolls:

Claimed his subjects are fools

who believe that he rules

over long wooden rods and not souls.

Stanisław II August posed for this painting while Catherine the Great planned to take over his kingdom.

Fortunately for Sven the portrait was completed just before he had to return the suit and get his deposit.

Excellent … one of the best captions ever!

Wrong lever.

The hand on the hip is something I do for Bruce on Thursdays it’s better with the red socks.

Birthday card to Catherine: “Forget the horse. I am coming to visit soon. They don’t call me King of the Poles for nothing!”

((“Yes, I get all the ladies.”))

“Yes, I DID get tangled up in the drapes on the way in here, thank you very much. I’ve decided to wear it like a ‘real’ man would, though – and pose with the curtain rod, too”.

“All Ladies of the Court, look at this portrait I commissioned Per Krafft the Elder to paint. Am I not the most handsome man ever dressed in the finest of clothing? Of course I am….And to think some day some one will proclaim this as just another fine example of phallic portraiture!” ……and no, this is not the first Polish joke in history.

Here’s a shot of a Polish King/

Weighed down by the royal bling :/

The garments of State/

Make him seem overweight,/

Although he is no such thing..///

To protect his imperious a$$/

He is wearing a breastplate of brass/

But along with the glamor/

He’s displaying a hammer/

To prove that “he don’t take no sass..”

You’ll discover (if you should talk back)/

That the King will give you such a whack/

You’ll be wondering why/

You angered this guy/

Just before everything goes black…///

Poland’s Kings failed their sole simple mission/

And succumbed to a cruel imposition/

When the rampaging Russians/

And the powerful Prussians/

Inflicted the Polish Partition.///

Poland’s back – better armed than before/

Poland’s President has the King’s chore/

And the Germans are “friends”/

But the whole thing depends/

On avoiding a nuclear war…

The king wore every article of clothing in his closet. This was the last time he’d schedule a portrait in the dead of winter.

“All strapped in? Get ready for the ride of your life.”

One must dress properly to play throw the stick with the dag.

“How about we say under all this attire, I feel like this”

“Limbo, anyone?”

From Anthony Weiner’s family portraits gallery

“It has to be this big for Catherine to be satisfied.”

“I’ll let him dress himself this one time,” his wife thought. “Surely he’s learned something about it by now. It’s not like he’ll make a fool of himself and have it captured for all time in a portrait, right?”

Per Kraft, the Mac & Cheese King

The worst suit of armor ever. Probably designed by somebody that wants him dead.

“Yes, this is a marechal’s baton, but it has other uses. Come closer and I will demonstrate.”

“Anyone for croquet?”

Portrait of Stanisław August Poniatowski: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:18th-century oil on canvas paintings in Poland" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string 4511, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed using the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly lifesize painting. File history has the enlarged strip image. 

That enlarged image of the painting is also shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3240 (December 20, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu. I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

Ringing a bell to summon the servants is so last year. Next year, everybody will be using a lever.

Phalic portraiture anyone?

That should be pronounced “lee-ver”