That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 07, 2024

James was a militant vegan.

Jacob and Esau, the modern rendition

/// In his library we find The Squire

and the Gamekeeper,

come to inquire about getting his wages.

(He’s been unpaid for ages.)

More than turnips to eat, he’ll require.

It was urgent and when I tore off the leaf it scared the buck, Here’s the proof.

James: keeping the wild turnips from running rampant.

I have a cunning plan…..

Pictured: How Euell Gibbons got his start, Stalking the Wild Turnip.

The Gamekeeper converted to ASPCA

No longer could he stand small creatures to slay

He became a devoted natural vegetable eater

Wild onions, dandelions, with honey as sweetener

He hasn’t eaten animal flesh, to this day

.

Many wild foods are around, free for the pickin’

Who needs processed beef, pork, or chicken?

Lambs quarters are a badly named common weed

Upon which people can nutritionally feed

But you must be aware some plants can sicken

.

Puffballs are delicious when young, if fried

But some mushrooms are the cause of those who died

Jerusalem Artichokes are like potatoes to parboil hot

And chicory roots can be added to your coffee pot

But nightshade leaves are deadly to those who tried

.

The games keeper thus his job resigned

And feasted on plants common countywide

The wild animals came to fear him not

Not one for many years has he shot

Since having let his ethics be his guide

Depends on what turns up.

Yeah, been using organic fertilizer… give it a try!

The wild turnip is a fierce creature when wounded.