The Comic Strip That Has A Finale Every Day by John "Scully" Scully for June 27, 2022

The Joys of Being Over 70  

There are some unexpected joys about being on the other side of 70, for example…

Kidnappers aren’t very interested in you.

In a hostage situation, you will probably be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

Or run at all.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.

You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

You get into a heated argument about pension claims.

You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You sing along with the elevator music.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

And you may not remember who sent you this list.