The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 02, 2018

Didn’t I see you in a movie about Mars?

Watch him peel out now.

All those potatoes are driving for Tuber now. They should all go back to Idaho where they came from.

Eye see what you did there.

What do you got against Oregon?

But his cousin will fly you to Ireland.

Those eyes aren’t for seeing.

He will drive cautiously, never exceeding the ‘spud’ limit.

In Idaho the driver can cash in his chips.

That drivers worst nightmare is watching TV & coming across old episodes of MASH!

Make sure he’s not driving while baked!

Does that app come with fries?

Repeat after me, in your best Arnold voice, “It’s not a tuber!”

Hey it’s Bud the Spud from the Bright Red Mud. — Stomp’in Tom Connors

The only music he plays in the car is “My Eyes Adore You”

This is a “root awakening.”

Hey, he’s gotta earn a living to support his tater tots at home.

He’s living in his own private Idaho!

The driver may get creamed.

I suspect Mr. Peanut is driving for goöber…

That’s no common ’tater!

Careful, he has been known to get smashed.

He got pulled over for violating the spud limit.

Guess this is beneath our Susan Sunshine’s dignity. Where are you, Susan?

Better than a saxerfone!

Keep your eyes on the road!

That is going to be an expensive fare from Chicago!