The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for December 18, 2023

They’re guaranteed to sink!!

Unless it’s pre-stressed fruit cake, it will be soggy in no time.

I like a good fruitcake that has no nuts. I prefer stollen. It’s not as dense. Scandinavian julekake is similar and delicious as well.

It a piece o cake for em thugs to get rid of anyone eh.

it gets soft and gooey under water. with any luck, he’ll escape with sticky feet

An innovative and, dare I say it, groundbreaking use of the eternal fruitcake.

I love fruitcake and I resent all the fruitcake jokes going around this time of year. (Grumble grumble.)

Getting rid of three fruitcakes at the same time. That’s efficiency.

we gave the same fruitcake back and forth to the same couple for years always disguising it in different boxes or sometimes just sneaking it into their freezer

They say they’re sorry, but they’re not – not really.

They didn’t need him to get rid of the fruitcake.

I never ate a fruitcake, saw the occasionally though!

Don’t like fruitcake? Send it to me.

Fruitcake ain’t cheap these days!

Fruitcake abuse! Fruitcake abuse!

Hopefully he won´t be elected next year – take your pick which one.

Fruitcake shoes, of course.

More for you. Congrats.

Apologetic thugs. The world is getting better.

Fruitcake overshoes?

’Dis." “DIS fuitcake.”

Are they from the from the rhythm section of Jailhouse Rock?

He’ll soon be sleeping with the loaves and fishes.

Fruitcake jokes just hit a new low.

At least the mobsters won’t be charged with cruel and unusual punishment, they didn’t make him eat it.

I’m always looking for one that I haven’t tried yet. The one I make is best, but takes forever with tons of ingredients.

Forwarded to my daughter. We relate to this.

As God is my witness, I thought fruitcakes could float.

What would the EPA say about this?

You should know that fruit cake floats, don’t you?

Like that’s the worst aspect of what’s happening to him.

Great big Deja Vu…

I am insulted! I’m Tommy and that’s my gun.

Ah…two birds with one stone! …(er…two fruitcakes, that is…)

Physics majors want to know: How do you force feet into pre-existing impermeable blocks of the densest substance known to humanity? Or did they bake the fruitcakes around the feet?