Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 10, 2012

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Form VRG-EZ Department of the Treasury - Internal Revenue Service Income Tax Return for Very Rich Guys 2009 Your first name (that's all we need) Mitt Presidential Election Campaign Check here if you want $3 million to go to a shadowy Super PAC fund that will ensure your privileges Income from Working 1 Wages, salaries, and tips. 1 Ha, ha 2 Taxable interest on U.S. bank accounts. 2 As if! 3 Unemployment compensation. 3 Terrific! 4 Add lines 1, 2, and 3. This is your adjusted gross income. 4 0 5 If line 4 is greater than zero, use the regular person tax rates (see Form 1040). If you find it distasteful to even handle such forms, get your chimney sweep to do it. 5 0 VRG Income 6 Dividends, capital gains, hedge fund management fees, stock option proceeds, interest from accounts in offshore tax haven jurisdictions, etc., etc., etc. 6 37 million VRG Deductions 7 Cost of elevators for underground storage of fancy cars and/ or fancy horses. 7 1 million 8 Cost of high-tech lair under volcano. 8 4 million 9 Minion expenses 9 2 million 10 Add lines 7, 8, and 9. Enter the total here. 10 7 million VRG Tax Owed 11 Subtract line 10 from line 6t. This is your Very Rich Guy taxable income. 11 30 million 12 Enter a tax rate that is just high enough to avoid an uprising by the peasants. 12 13% 13 Multiply line 12 by line 11 and add line 5. This is the amount you might want to pay. 13 3.9 million Sign Here Under penalties of Very Rich Guys, I declare and swear I will not show this form to any non-Very Rich Guys, even if I run for President. Mitt Romney