Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 13, 2017

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Donald Trump Mysteries TRUMP TOWER Donald Trump: The Democrats were hacked?! Only I can solve the mystery! Donald Trump: I know all about the Cyber! It's very important, the Cyber, so important! Donald Trump: I've got a hunch. Get me a list of all 400-pound guys in New Jersey! The game is afoot! Donald Trump: Of course, the only sure way is to catch a hacker in the act, his hands in your computer! Hi, Vlad. Donald Trump: Now get me a list of the 400-pound guys who use their computer on their bed! Get on it!! Donald Trump: Hmm, Julian Assange said a 14-year-old could have done it! Vladimir Putin: Sign here, initial here. Donald Trump: So get me a list of all 14-year-olds who Cyber. Now!! I want answers! Donald Trump: Who?? Who could have done it?? Vladimir Putin: Da, just call me on this number. The Cyber for Dummies Aide: Sir, this hack was part of a widespread phishing attack targeting military and government individuals in Russia, Ukraine, and the U.S., authors writing about Russia, aerospace, and military spouses... Donald Trump: Wait!! I've got it!! Are there any 400-pound 14-year-olds in New Jersey?! ON BEDS?? Donald Trump: Get me a list of all of them who do the Cyber!! Vladimir Putin: Invade here, oil field here... Next Week on "The Donald Trump Mysteries" Donald Trump: Sometimes I wonder if this mystery can every be solved. Vladimir Putin: Go sleep now, my lisichka.