Simple resolution: We all pray to God Man to swoop in and destroy it. Oh - wait - I forgot, it was God Man who set the thing on its course in the first place.
Lucky for us we have a free and unfettered press, beholden to none! The panel afterwards, consisting of an asteroid scientist, two GOP Senators, and a columnist from the Wall Street Journal, concluded that we’re 25% doomed, a figure which was later automatically adjusted to 50% in the interests of fairness and dividing every issue right down the middle rather than have to think about it.
Say What Now‽ Premium Member almost 6 years ago
The Rump’s gut is smarter than all those scientists.
kaffekup almost 6 years ago
“Mr trump, this could be your chance to use a nuclear weapon.”
“I’m in!”
Masterskrain almost 6 years ago
And you know what’s REALLY scary? This is NOT an exaggeration!
NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 6 years ago
I have little hope for humanity, but then again, I really don’t care.
Striped Cat almost 6 years ago
“But will stopping an asteroid next year help this quarter’s numbers? If “no”, then it is not important." – American Business
J Quest almost 6 years ago
Brilliant satire, Mr Bolling! Were it not so accurate, I might even laugh rather than just get a little sick to my stomach.
Rev Phnk Ey almost 6 years ago
Simple resolution: We all pray to God Man to swoop in and destroy it. Oh - wait - I forgot, it was God Man who set the thing on its course in the first place.
Dr. Quatermass almost 6 years ago
But… but… wasn’t Space Force supposed to handle this? This, and sending pigs into space? I mean, c’mon! It was funny on the Muppet Show.
comixbomix almost 6 years ago
Good to see Knott A. Cockroach doing so well – he was having trouble finding work, after that Men In Black movie…
Kip W almost 6 years ago
Lucky for us we have a free and unfettered press, beholden to none! The panel afterwards, consisting of an asteroid scientist, two GOP Senators, and a columnist from the Wall Street Journal, concluded that we’re 25% doomed, a figure which was later automatically adjusted to 50% in the interests of fairness and dividing every issue right down the middle rather than have to think about it.
AndrewSihler almost 6 years ago
I understand Trump is going to cancel the Louisiana Purchase. He says “Those French played Obama for a fool! It’s disgraceful!”
Godfreydaniel almost 6 years ago
If only Neil deGrasse Tyson were president……..or maybe the Lorax!
eberkun almost 6 years ago
I think you may have just insulted cockroaches
jpozenel almost 6 years ago
I’m sorry, but I’m not going to listen to Dr. Sven Farvgel.
He looks too much like Fred Armisen!
rhbrandon2 almost 6 years ago
“Individual 1” is a very stable genius. He says so.
Funny_Ha_Ha almost 6 years ago
That’s Jesus bringing us the rapture.
Spock almost 6 years ago
The rich will go on having a big party until everyone will be doomed. Motto: Better perishing with style than do something for the common good
Broacher almost 6 years ago
Roaches for the win!