Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for March 17, 2021

It’s not hard to beat a big fat zero.

But partying at home means a much safer journey afterward — probably straight to bed by way of the loo.

The bars where closed.

Yes

It’s not a real St. Paddy’s Day unless the beer is GREEN!!

;-P

You’ll never get a Guinness in the shade of green. Although after a few some of you dandies might be seeing green.Did you hear about Michael O’Shay who come stumbling through the door to his waitin’ wife. Ole Mike was covered in cow manure as he breathlessly explained that he took a short cut home from the pub through a cow pasture and dropped his Tammy. “I musta’ tried on half a dozen before I found mine deareast.”

We still need to be careful COVID is still going strong. EWEAR A MASK AND STAY HOME. BE SAFE!

Hey, sorry you had to wait for it one day, but I realized Part 7 was too short to part it in two mini – parts. I decided to post parts 7 and 8 in the same comment next day. BTW, happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

WoI: The biggest. Adventure. Ever. – Part 7 (written with Duke’s perspective)

I wasn’t proud of what was I doing. I thought, what Wizard, Rodney and others would think about it after all. But the King promised to give me some of his gold, if I’ll make it to the end. Suddenly, a mysterious knight came out of bushes. “Who are you?” I asked. The knight didn’t answered, but he got off his horse and he took a sword out of his holder. That meant he wanted to fight me. I grabbed my sword too. We started dueling. It was pretty easy. I almost beat him, but then… ,,Alaka – zog, turn into a frog!" In a short while I was a toad. The knight took off his helmet. It was Rodney! “You just had to, right?”, he said. “Told you, I could make it”. “No way, I wouldn’t let the Duke defeat you”, Wizard answered. “Why did you turn me into a frog?!” I called. “First, tell us, why did you agreed on the King’s option?” Wiz asked. I told them truth, becuase I was afraid Wizard would turn me into something worse. I needed that gold, to buy a castle. I had enough of living in a kingdom. “You were fooled by the King. He wants to use you as a tool, to get closer to Gwen” Rodney replied. “He wants to kill you, marry Gwen and take all the gold he would give you”. I couldn’t believe, the King lied to me. I was very mad. I asked: “Will you turn me into a human, if I’ll help you?” “Sure”. Wizard answered.

Part 8 in replies

His Doctor told him to cut down to one glass a day…..

God gave man alcohol to keep the Irish from ruling the world while the Scots kept watch.

I think I might go downtown. I’ll social distance and not drink a drop. I’ll only wait around until most of the wannabe chic, well to do suburban women get so plastered that they leave the bar, go curbside, grab the closest lamp post, and then change the color of their Jimmy Choo’s. I ought to be home by 11 – that’s 11am by the way. They’re soooo… What’s the word I’m looking for?… Classy. Every year.

…just going to have one…

Or the alternative – YOU stay home and “be safe”, the rest of us will go on living.

Hey Bung, save some for the rest of the bar!

Some of us St Paddy’s better than others and some of us do it more than others. They are not the same peolpe.

“In Heaven there is no beer. / That’s why we drink it here.”

The beer is not green.

I don’t like Green Beer.

Hmm. Vintage 2020. Terrible year.

With celebrations like that – it could be just like last year very soon.

Stay home? How about minding your own knitting.

That looks like a bar Andy Capp needs to find.

Sigh……………………… Bung you are disgusting.

Oh for crying out loud, quit preaching and stop turning this into a political argument.

Notice Rod is the one, who isn’t wearing anything green.

Make up for last year, or for the last ten years, Bung?

I don’t find these funny anymore. I was a heavy drinker for years, quit 10 years ago. Somehow my liver survived it, I get it checked every year and it’s still in good shape…….but I’m having hip replacement surgery in a month, condition caused by heavy drinking in the past. And I’m only 58. Warning folks…..it will catch up to you one way or the other.

Hey — shouldn’t that dart board have GREEN circles, instead of RED?

Nothing can make up for last year.