Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for October 13, 2021

You regular Ripsters know I go for a theme if I can find one. Last night was talcum powder; tonight’s joke continues that theme…along with the “shorter days, shorter jokes” theme:

A man walks gingerly into a drug store. He asks the proprietor, “Do you have any talcum powder?”

“Walk this way,” says the proprietor.

“If I could do that,” the man replies, “I wouldn’t need the talcum powder.”

One time I was 24 years old. When are they gonna make bacon and sausages out of that pig?

Gonald Dorske

One time I was 1,601 years old and 9 feet tall. I keep wishing Mr. John Graziano or whatever his name is would give me one day with nothing to one up or do a spoonerism for.

May the Lord be with you.

Gorske, by the way, eats practically nothing but Big Macs, but still keeps at considerably below the daily calorie recommendation levels and has significantly below-average cholesterol levels. He’s reportedly in great physical health at the age of 67.

He’s also said that his extremely unvaried diet is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is also why his eating habits are so well-documented.

Frankly, if you have to eat the same $4 meal for the rest of your life, a beef sandwich with lettuce, pickles and onions probably isn’t the Worst choice, as long as you moderate it.

I don’t know how old Donald Gorske is but if he is in the neighborhood of about 50 years old that would be approximately 2 Big Macs per day or more on average. Big Macs are pretty good, but about 2 per year is enough for me.

Let us say that is one Big Mac daily. How many years would that be? Sounds also like Gonald Dorske is outdoing Sporgan Murlock.

I suppose if you’re locked on a sandwich invented in 1967 that you would choose a haircut from then, too.

Looks like a Run Run Chow Chinese Connection Bowl cut circa 1972.

Whatever happened to Baby Jane?

…which led up to 32,340 cases of heartburn.

Mmmm, Big Mac. I’m off to the arches!

So the pig was named after a Rod Stewart song.

Where is Steve???

i’ve eaten a lot of double cheesburgers at mcdonalds.i know it’s not in the thousands! i haven’t been there in a very long time because they changed the taste of the burgers.plus it was from the dollar menu.it’s ashame.for me it’s hard to find a good burger.white castle is my favorite.the closest one is 2 hours away.

Here’s a short joke for a rainy day (which today is supposed to be here in South Central Texas):

After two married couples had lunch, the women went shopping, and the men opted to go sailing. Bad decision—a storm blew in while the men were out on the water, driving them into a shallow bay.

Making matters worse, as they rode out the storm, the tide goes out, grounding the boat. They had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.

As they stood there—ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting their faces, one of the men grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, “Sure beats shopping!”

I’m surprised Donald Gorske is still alive after eating that many grease-mac’s. His paracordium must be full of yellow sludge. Did he want fries with all those?

I regret checking in on this today.

That’s some cured bacon.

t’s good to have goals in life but eating and counting Big Macs???? Can only guess that he has a lifetime tenure as a McD’s “chef”.

“Fake news! Only 32 thou? Heck I’ve eaten that many in a week.” ~ Donald Trump

Take care, may cardiac surgeon Dr. Irving “We Found His Wallet!” Sanchord be with you, and gesundheit.

I want to see Donald’s proof of a receipt for those 32k BigMacs

“…probably used in a ritual ceremony.”

I’m so glad they gave us specifics. What if some guy just thought, “I’d love to be around in 1,600 years to see what they make of this!”

It seems to be ho-hum hokum day at Ripley’s.

Donald Gorske has not dies of a heart attack yet? Amazing. That plus…think of how much money he spent on the Big Macs

At 2 Big Macs a day, it would take 44 years to eat that many. I think there may be a little exaggeration!

Must be an exciting life if you count how many burgers you’ve eaten as a highlight of your life!

How many Big Macs is that guy eating a day? One a day is more than eighty-eight years. That isn’t unbelievable, it’s insane.

Our US-based big macs must be made of better stuff than the UK’s chicken nuggets. I recall a young woman having to give up her habit of chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she collapsed on the job and nearly died due to her lack of nutrition. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/british-teen-stacey-irvine-hospitalized-after-eating-nothing-but-chicken-nuggets-for-15-years/

Before he started eating the Big Macs, Donald looked just like David Beckham.

How much money has he spent on those Big Macs?

The most amazing thing about Gorske’s feat is he’s eaten more Big Macs than the the other Donald, Trump that is.

Are bits of that Irish statue gonna be put in Halloween masks this year???

Maybe they can celebrate Baby Jane’s 24th birthday on February 1st, 2022. Then the next day they can take her to the slaughter house and have her ground up. They can call it ground hog day.

Whenever I see “Fond du Lac” in print I always hear it being pronounced the way George Carlin did when he was the Hippy Dippy Weather Man.

And Donald Gorske can’t wait until Baby Jane gets processed into a McRib

“Ritual ceremony”? Hmm…was it, by any chance, inflatable?

Thanks to Donald; there sign can say “Over a billion served”. Otherwise it would say “Over 999,967,660 served”.