9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for September 28, 2005

Transcript:

"This is so embarrassing. I can't stop crying, and people are looking." "Bug off, Granny! Go rubberneck a car crash!" "Thank you." "So, let me guess. You were in love with him...He pretended to reciprocate...You bestowed plentiful rewards...But deep, deep down, you knew better. You just didn't want to fess up..." "Then today the coward phoned and broke it off...And you went wiggy and ran 25 blocks to his place, but he hid in the bathroom and didn't answer the door...And you made a scene in the hallway..." "How did you know?" "I've done that so many times it's my registered trademark."