Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for April 03, 2023

I don’t know. I always thought Lerts were dangerous to be around.

I used to have a cat who was a lert. He was also a fectionate. But never a loof.

My Janis has the same mindset as Arlo’s. Her job is to make sure I know about the problem. I’m sure it aggravates her when my best solution involves parking on the south facing back porch.

Don’t just lie there, Arlo. Go out and stop it.

Turn on the TV and watch the weather dweeb wave at the wall because a drop of moisture has fallen within 400 miles of the station. Then he strikes up the Chicken Little routine. “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!”

Arlo is one of the best lerts!

“Lerts! The breath mint that’s also a stimulant!”

Oh, I just figured it out – that is a cell phone making the noise in the first panel! It looked like a pillow lit up!

Today I went on a walk despite a hail forecast. It arrived late in the walk, when I could see it from inside my dinner stop.

Some storms have long tracks and warnings. The station forecast centers have a tank of nitrous oxide so the forecasters become more manic as the evening progresses.

Back in the 70’s I had a t-shirt wit a guy in a hammock with that written on it, be alert, the world needs more lefts…

We now have 4 seasons here in NJ, cold, rainy, tornado and hurricane.

I just did a google search for LERT. I found Law Enforcement Resource Team and Law Enforcement Response to Terrorism.

They will regret not retreating to the basement when the tree lands on their bedroom.

Get up and watch all the idiots who need a weather app to tell them it’s raining out run to the store to buy out all the bread and milk because another “historic” inch of rain is going to possibly fall in the next week.

Then watch them throw all that food away, because though it’s still perfectly good, it hit the “expiration” date. After which they’ll whine about the price of groceries and being food insecure (even though they have a BMI of 40)

The sad thing is, those are the future of our country.

At least the hysterical media hasn’t resorted to naming thunderstorms yet. Bad enough they’re giving names to winter storms.

Had that attitude until I moved to where I live now. Then we got slapped by a tornado less then a mile away. Tornado alerts do attract my attention now.

Avoid the noid

On April 1st at 1 AM we had a tornado warning..passed within a mile of us…Pay attention people

One of the local radio stations in my area uses the warning, “Be weather aware,” when they can’t use their preferred “Weather alert!” There are times when nothing should be said, such as when nothing is in the sky except normal clouds.

ba dum tss

To be safe you should sleep under your bed instead of in it. Those dust bunnies aren’t going to clean themselves up you know.

Having had a tornado pass through my neighborhood at midnight of Halloween in 2018, hurricanes in 2019 and 2021. I am glad of weather alerts. Can’t really have basements in most of Louisiana because of high water tables.

I have mine set for tornado warnings only. Everything else can be slept through.

Reminds me of a guitar luthier who labeled some of the sound hole cut-outs “TUIT” to give away, saying, “now you got a round tuit”.

My ex-wife always said “Be alert. The world needs more lerts.” Is she ghost-writing this now?

First panel alarmed me – thought somebody was in gastric distress.

An oldie but goodie…

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

That’s why I always click the “Don’t Allow” button when asked.

Your carrier has disabled the option to make minor alerts silent or vibrate

Old joke, still funny.

My phone is never in my bedroom. They send out Amber alerts for missing kids 300 miles from me. No one needs to contact me in the middle of the night.

In my case, even though we’re well into Spring, and in spite of “global warming” alarmists, it’s Winter Storm Warnings. In fact there is a fresh inch of Global Warming on my truck this morning.

Thunderstorm? So what? Unless you live in a skyscraper or a forest, like I do, there’s not much to fear.

My friend had a terrier named Lert.

Keep alert! Lerts make good pets.

When I was a boy in Texas, if you didn’t actually see a funnel cloud, you didn’t have to worry. On my last visit home, there was a tornado 300 miles away, so the local TV station felt compelled to run a constant chyron crawl across the bottom of the screen to make sure we kept worrying abou that.

Got one of those the other night, when the big storm came through. Real hysterics in the message. We got a little rain, hardly any wind at all. Two days prior, we had high winds, torrential rain, and hail. No message, nada. What does NWS stand for? No Worthwhile Science.

I had to disable amber alerts. They were virtually always 1) came in the middle of the night. 2) Were from St. Louis, four hours away. 3) Were almost always a parent taking their kid.

There is a weather prognostigator in Kansas City who relentlessly issues “aches and pains” alerts for every change in barometric pressure and “allergy” alerts for every plant that blooms. You Kansas Citians know immediately who it is.

Ooooh. That’s how we did memes before the internet, T-Shirts.

I was in the ninth grade back in 1969 when I first saw Tommy Stewart write on the chalkboard:

Be alert we need more lerts.

When the last big earthquake hit the Northern California coast, I heard it first, then the shaking started, and when it got real bad…….my phone rang telling me “Earthquake! Take cover!!”…..I was so relieved that my cell phone was protecting me, Hah!

Ba-Dum-Tiss….

I’m a pert not an expert.

We have had a weather alert day a week for the last 5-6weeks. Luckily though we haven’t had the devastation that other parts if the country are experiencing. My heart goes out to all of the people in the destruction,, their families, and friends!

In the Dallas/Ft. Worth area those things can get serious. To the point where you sleep in the bathtub with the mattress on top of you.

Mike Morgan on channel 4.

Delaware used to not have tornados. But we’ve had several in the past few years. One was less than a mile from me, traveled about 40 miles. The one this week was in southern DE, traveled about 16 miles, 1 person killed. I live in a mobile home, very scary.

As I have been writing since last week- I hope those in the areas witht he tornadoes and severe thunderstorms that are causing so much damage please be safe and don’t ignore the alerts and for those who have lost loved ones and property and their homes I send my sincerest condolences to you. Much love my friends.

Now they’re both awake Arlo could become very alert