B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for September 11, 2023

And so it began…

a goal.

Good thing he didn’t get bit !

Betcha its a her.

Did you spot the egg sac?

That looks more like a tick than a spider.

O.k., I need some help here, please. What does Thor say here?

He speaks about bagging in a corner, but where is the corner? Virtually the only corner I see on there is the corner of his champagne glass

Time to move to a new place.

If they hadn’t just invented those pointy-toed cowboy boots, they would’ve never been able to get into the corner to bag it!

And how many snake trophies may fat broad has in her cave.

Corners are pretty informal in caves.

Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy!

How low can you go?

What do you call a participation trophy in astronomy?

A constellation prize.

I went big game hunting, but I couldn’t bring all my trophies home.

The airline only permitted one piece of carrion.

What trophy does rain, snow, and hail always win?

Precipitation awards.

My doctor told me I could get a trophy from being on crutches…..

but all I got were smaller, weaker leg muscles.

Why do dentists have so many trophies?

Because they got rid of the plaques.

A very early version of the Spiderman logo?

Nope! Not a fan of spiders. Too sneaky.

Killing a spider is bad luck. Hope the big guy is still alive and just resting on the plaque.

Most of the time they mount the head out in 3D ……the rest is too big or damaged.

Housekeeping tip of the day for removing spider webs on the ceiling: use a telescoping pole like the ones used for pool maintenance. This is necessary when your living room is open to the second floor and the ceiling is 20 feet high.

he used to remember 9/11.

This would be a rare specimen, indeed. Arachnids have eight legs, attached to the cephalothorax.

Aw, poor spider!

Okay, I have to admit, if I extincted a spider that size, I would want proof too.

Whatever it is, good job killing it. That thing is huge.

That’s one big insect. And the fearless hunter will have to deal with a lot of smaller insects now that the main predator is no more.

Creepy wall mount….

I Killed a spider this morning, he was in the sink, I turned on the hot water and down the drain he went. Do I get an award for that?

That is a trophy spider. Forgive my cruelty, but I hope he bagged it before it had babies. (Just remembered, male spiders are generally smaller than the female. What if that’s Shelob’s boyfriend?)

Yesterday I let my dog decide where we were going to go in the hospital for a while, and she headed to the ER. We spent a few hours there. We sat with one man who played a bit too much football and was waiting for an MRI. He and my dog really bonded. I think she would have left me for him. We also sat with a nice young lady who didn’t say why she was there, and I didn’t ask, but we had a nice conversation which helped her pass the time waiting, and she suddenly got up and squished a huge spider on the floor. She said that was the biggest spider she had ever seen in a hospital, and I agreed with her. I used my shoe and pushed it out under the curtain around her room. (I thought my dog might eat it, which would have really grossed out someone afraid of a spider on the floor.) We spent most of our ER time with staff, who always enjoy any of our dogs who go there. Most don’t, especially with covid cases rising. I wear a mask in the ER, but so far lately nowhere else in the hospital unless we see a patient who is vulnerable.

Just wait until Mommy finds out.

I never kill the small ones. It’s the big ones that crawl up the sides of skyscrapers that make me get out my shotgun

Big Spider

Better in a corner than walking through its fresh web.