Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for May 29, 2021

Sarcasm? Why, it’s my primary function! I am sarcastic in over fifty languages!

Oh, ah Destry? When Elvis looks at you like that, you should probably be afraid.

Very afraid.

Did Burt help program Destry?

I wonder if it speaks Cat? Inquiring minds – and Elvis’ – need to know.

Sarcasm?! Bad idea to muscle in on Elvis’s territory.

I thought the man was asking Destry to play the song “What is Love”. I was about to start bobbing my head to the side.

Am I missing something here? Is a Destry Home Hearth a real thing? (Googled for it; found nothing.) Or is it some weird BCN-only made-up brand/model name for an Amazon Echo?

If it can understand cat, this could prove to be interesting.

That thing is eevil, I say. Pure eevil. Just look at its name. DESTROY HOME EARTH

DESTRY RIDES AGAIN!!!

NO, ELVIS, NO, CUROUSITY KILLS CATS!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a web Georgia weaves: fun with “ Destry “ and “ roomba “ …..how the BCN team will respond to modern robots, and finally the baby drone. Lupin’s ominous remark that they would feast tonight. I look forward in anticipation to all cool stories that Georgia can spin!

Sarcasm in over 50 languages? Phew! That’s even more then “Garfield” can offer.

I’m barely able to be sarcastic in one.

OT: My new book (๑′ᴗ‵๑)♥

Just please, don’t hurt me no more…

Artificial sarcasm…

I’m beginning to warm to that thing.

OT – curious

I actually laughed out loud! Someone finally takes on the tech that is taking over our homes!

Tina Turner: What’s Love Got to Do With It

You must understand when you give a command

I am programmed to react

So ask me some more

I’ve heard it all before, and that’s a fact!

It’s all the same,

I’m not to blame,

I’m not programmed to ignore,

I just mean no more than that!

Oh, oh, oh

……..

What’s love, that’s what they all ask

That’s what they all ask!

What’s love, in fifty different phrases

What’s love, that’s what they all ask

That’s what they all ask!

But who needs sarcasm

When we already have Elvis!

…….

It may seem to you that I’m acting confused

When I see that Meese!

I see his stare, and it’s more like a stare

Makes my circuits freeze! Is that a cold breeze?

Fifty languages now, I must learn meow

Or I’m simply doomed!

Oh, oh, oh!

……,.

What’s love, that’s what they all ask

That’s what they all ask!

What’s love, in fifty different phrases

What’s love, that’s what they all ask

That’s what they all ask!

But who needs sarcasm

When we already have Elvis!

…….

Cats take me in a new direction

But I have to say

I must learn to understand them

If I want to go through the day!

Oh, oh, oh!

…….

What’s love, that’s what they all ask

That’s what they all ask!

What’s love, in fifty different phrases

What’s love, that’s what they all ask

That’s what they all ask!

But who needs sarcasm

When we already have Elvis!

Does it speak Cat? Stay tuned to know!

I think Destry is short for destroy.

Destry – how can anyone be immune to the siren call of cat toe beans?

The expression on Elvis’ face does not bode well for the Destry critter machine.

Is there ham on a hog?

I can only be sarcastic in 2 languages: English and Cat.

Sushi: :( like i said the other day, sushi is an old cat who has had many problems over the years. first, he had bathroom troubles. he could not go to the bathroom. we got that fixed. then, he got tooth troubles, so we fed him canned cat food. also, in his old age, he is having trouble walking, seeing, cleaning himself, and drinking. my family thinks it might be time for him to go. he just does not seem well anymore. he also does not seem happy either. yesterday, my dad said that he called journeys home, (a place to put animals to sleep) and they too think sushi is ready. :( so tomorrow they are coming. :( it all reminds me of our much loved big brother/dog, Oreo. he had to go to the rainbow bridge last year. :( (also sushi has a weird goiter on his neck. we got it checked out, but even the vets don’t really know why he has it! It used to swell up when he got sick)

Elvis does not approve of snide “Destry” (hmm, is it just a coincidence that its name is one vowel less than “Destroy”?), and the result may involve cat-on-robot mayhem.

Meanwhile, Back on the Nile

Enter Brown Bear

Broom-Sweepa: Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what will it be?

Brown Bear: The Picanic Basket special, all for me.

Lupinium: Hey Brown Bear, come join us here!

Brown Bear: Always good to meet new friends, that’s very clear!

Puckmosis: All rhyming aside, where do you hail from?

Brown Bear: I have a cave at the Local Oasis.

Lupinium: Have you ever heard of a pyramid there?

Brown Bear: Yes, but I’ve never seen it. But there are some areas of the Oasis that haven’t been explored. I remember my two cousins and I talked about going exploring when we were cubs.

Elvis-Anum: Where are your cousins now?

Brown Bear: They’re both in India. One is studying yoga, and the other is quite the gentlebear.

Beatrixia: We need to talk to Queen Mags and Queen Catshepsut about mounting an expedition.

Violet-Ifa: All in good time, my kitties, all in good time.

At this point I would have launched it across the yard and into the neighbors pool

I have Android and iOS devices. The virtual assistants have actually been known to make snide remarks when I address one and the other answers. Do I need this? Rarely. Between the iOS device having to be plugged in to respond and the Android device hesitating just long enough that you repeat yourself while it begins talking – not such a genius technology.

When lookin’ for answers

For things you can’t recall

And the hints that Hubby gives you

Don’t really help at all

Go ask Destry

She’s awaitin’ your call

And if she becomes a habit

And you can no longer think at all

That means a snarky digital assistant

Must be promptly uninstalled

Call Destry when you’re brain’s too small

When that sassy snark machine

Wakes up and tell you where to go

And you just tried to dance with Ro Voom

And your mind is moving slow

Go ask Destry

I think she’ll know

When logic and proportion

Have vanished from your head

And Destry is talking back now

And Elvis thinks, “off with her head!”

Listen when Natasha shrugs

Pull her plug

Pull that plug

(Grace Slick – White Rabbit / Jefferson Airplane)

Star Trek fan, I see.

Sarcastic…and evasive. If I didn’t know they were incapable of that kind of work, I’d swear a politician programmed it.

Love is a score of zero in tennis.

Mine is one of my cats favorite toys. It get knocked off the table at least once a day. I can’t tell you how often it is also NOT helpful. “Sorry, I don’t know that” is the most common response to my queries..

I don’t have one of these smart assistant things in my home. My car doesn’t respond to my voice. I don’t have the feature activated on my phones (personal or work).

When I am with a friend who uses one, I make sure to be polite after the exchange, and always say, “Thank you, Skynet.”

It’s possible that will buy me a few extra seconds when machines rise, and I can use that time to my advantage…

I am surprised that the Woman and the Man, at their age, are not familiar with this kind of tech.

Since the voice answering on an automated phone system rarely understands my voice, I have no reason to believe a “smart” speaker would do any better. Actually, the voice on the driving directions in newer cars irritates me so much, I ask people to pleeeeease turn it off!

Elvis has found a kindred spirit. He needs to ask about letter carriers.

All right, Destry, open the pod bay doors.

Elvis has entered the chat…

Ahhhh, but has it CAUGHT THE RED DOT?

Not a bad question, Man.

I can’t tell if Elbiff is intrigued, annoyed, or curiously angry at it.

But will Destry ride again?

Makes me want to throw the thing out the window. gift or not!

You know, these things look a lot like hockey pucks …

… or clay “pigeons” …

PULL!!!

Destry is just one letter away from Destroy.

How to spot a Gen X’er: they respond to the question “what is love” with “baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.”