Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for March 18, 2024

The thrill of victory!

Calvin’s a “picky” one, isn’t he?

Tough to do homework with one hand out of commission, or are we done with that story.

So—did Calvin finally do his math homework?

“I broke my finger”

“How did you break your finger?”

“I got punched in the nose.”

Uh-oh, now he’s made it a contest.

Just don’t shake his hand if he offers it afterward.

That, and running with scissors causes bleeding.

When he gets Alzheimer’s from picking his nose, will he even remember he holds the record?!

I’d rather call you chump!

The nose bleed observers section is where the action at with Calvin’s feat of strength immortalizing attempts.

He needs to be careful, he might pick out his brains by mistake……

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.

No fair glueing your finger in place!

George: Was it a scratch or a pick?Jerry: It was a pick!George: Hey, it’s me you’re talking to! Was there any nostril penetration?Jerry: (stutters) There may have been some accidental penetration. But from her angle she was in no position to make the call.

Keep that style, Calvin, and the next record you will have is Recipient of the Most Wet Willies.

That’s like when I was in 9th grade band, I was first chair baritone.

I was the only baritone player in the band.

Better “Champ” than “Chump”!

and dig deep enough you’ll hit red gold.

Bro’s actually thinking smart.

Mehmet Özyürek has held the record for the longest nose on a living person (male) for over two decades. The measurement, which took place in his hometown of Artvin, Turkey, was 8.8 cm (3.46 in) long from the bridge to the tip.

Your parents won’t allow that, and neither will your teacher, Calvin.

He might get it stuck like that. George Carlin referred to boogers as “Nature’s mucilage”.

What was that old crack? “Wave when you reach the bridge.”

Calvin, it seems that a lot of people are going for the “head in a hole in the ground” record. I think that one may be a hard record to beat just because of its popularity but many do seem to be attracted to it. js

Hey Champ, you pulled your finger out of your nose.

Well, you gotta win at something or you feel like you haven’t done anything to brag about.

So the world record was “2 panels”?

Go wash your hands, Calvin…

A rather snotty champ at that!

basically equivalent to getting a diploma for graduating pre-school

He says as he takes his finger out of his nose.

I think the majority of Guinness records are like that: rather than breaking someone else’s record, just be the first person who can quantifiably document something.

Everything goes in the record books now, not so much when the strip was drawn.

Picky, picky, picky. Calvin is the boogie man.

Anybody wonder why Calvin has no friends? Anybody?

No, I don’t want to “shake on it.”

That record snot as easy at it looks.

Hobbs is looking like: “TELL ME HE DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT!!”

Or “chump.” Maybe “chimp.”

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you’re built upside down.

Go deep! See if you encounter a brain anywhere.

Calvin has won a minor nasal victory.

I think they retired that category.

I’d pick you as the winner any day, Calvin.