Back when I had a horse, I would occasionally see a horsefly on him. Those suckers (or, more precisely, blood-suckers) are big—at least an inch long and fat! Even so, I would immediately swat them in spite of the grossness of squished bug (and blood if I didn’t spot them before they’d started sucking) all over my hand—this was my horse, my great big fur-baby, and I wasn’t about to let some nasty insect hurt him. Of course, I then grabbed some soap and rushed over to the hose to wash my hands.
Last day of Camp SBJ for our counselors-in-training group, before we headed back to Camp G. We celebrated by going swimming in the camp’s nice, cool pool. The horseflies were horrible, though. Over the course of a couple of hours, we swatted close to a hundred of the bloodsuckers. Before leaving, we gathered all the corpses we could find to leave in the lifeguard chair.
I once killed a horsefly with my flag stick. Before accurate navigation systems, we used to step off swaths for cropdusters, then wave flags for them sight on. While in the middle of a field, a big horsefly came in and made three quick laps around my head looking for a place to land. Then it zoomed out about 20 yds. before turning around for another attack. I choked up on my flag stick, and when it made the next attack, swung and hit it perfectly to center field. It sounded like Mickey Mantle hitting a home run.That’s about how long ago that happened too.
Calvin must be quite a shot if he can hit horse fly with just one shot. Maybe he has mastered the skill by standing there with one hand in his hip pocket and aiming with both eyes open. . . .
I wonder just how many times that fly could have bitten Mom if she had, in fact, waited for Calvin. Most likely, she slapped the back of her own head while wondering “Why the heck did he run off?”
In 1939 I was give a water pistol. To load it you put the front in water & pull back a long wire with a ring on the end. My mom was kneeling in her garden weeding around flowers. A few squirts at her butt & I didn’t see the water pistol for a month. It was a very hot humid summer day & Mom was more surprised than angry.
codycab about 1 month ago
Horsefly? No reaction. Calvin with a toy gun? Freak out. Makes sense.
dadthedawg Premium Member about 1 month ago
Holler, “Stop, or I’ll shoot…..”
Bilan about 1 month ago
Now Calvin has an excuse for not offering to help with the gardening every again.
snsurone76 about 1 month ago
Mom is scared of a toy (it IS a toy, isn’t it?)?
incognito about 1 month ago
Any excuse, Calvin……
LeslieBark about 1 month ago
Back when I had a horse, I would occasionally see a horsefly on him. Those suckers (or, more precisely, blood-suckers) are big—at least an inch long and fat! Even so, I would immediately swat them in spite of the grossness of squished bug (and blood if I didn’t spot them before they’d started sucking) all over my hand—this was my horse, my great big fur-baby, and I wasn’t about to let some nasty insect hurt him. Of course, I then grabbed some soap and rushed over to the hose to wash my hands.
Blu Bunny about 1 month ago
Must not had the garden hose nearby, but the gun does add to the punch.
win.45mag about 1 month ago
Big horseflies are best killed with a barrage of water balloons
tremaine53 about 1 month ago
“Finally! A chance to shoot mom in the back of the head! Score!”
sandpiper about 1 month ago
Mom is right. Even a rubber sticker gun can be dangerous in Cal’s hands.
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 1 month ago
You don’t need an excuse to shoot mom now days, Calvin. You shouldn’t do it, but still, no need to make up insects on her or whatever.
tcumming about 1 month ago
I thought he’d gone to get a saddle for that horse
John Wiley Premium Member about 1 month ago
Last day of Camp SBJ for our counselors-in-training group, before we headed back to Camp G. We celebrated by going swimming in the camp’s nice, cool pool. The horseflies were horrible, though. Over the course of a couple of hours, we swatted close to a hundred of the bloodsuckers. Before leaving, we gathered all the corpses we could find to leave in the lifeguard chair.
Pete.Keillor about 1 month ago
I once killed a horsefly with my flag stick. Before accurate navigation systems, we used to step off swaths for cropdusters, then wave flags for them sight on. While in the middle of a field, a big horsefly came in and made three quick laps around my head looking for a place to land. Then it zoomed out about 20 yds. before turning around for another attack. I choked up on my flag stick, and when it made the next attack, swung and hit it perfectly to center field. It sounded like Mickey Mantle hitting a home run.That’s about how long ago that happened too.
Just-me about 1 month ago
I don’t blame mom. There’s no telling how Calvin might have modified the dart gun.
SquidGamerGal about 1 month ago
There’s no horseflies, is there?
Count Olaf Premium Member about 1 month ago
Thank God! For a minute there The Count was afraid this was going to become an episode of the tabloid TV streaming series “I Shot My Mother”.
mywifeslover about 1 month ago
My first thought was that M*A*S*H episode swatting a fly on Frank Burns’ head. Did you get him? Get what?
BJDucer about 1 month ago
Calvin must be quite a shot if he can hit horse fly with just one shot. Maybe he has mastered the skill by standing there with one hand in his hip pocket and aiming with both eyes open. . . .
uniquename about 1 month ago
You can buy a “swatter gun” like that. They’re not very effective, but they’re a lot of fun to use.
www.basspro.Com/shop/en/bass-pro-shops-flyshooter-the-original-bug-gun
rshive about 1 month ago
Calvin looks for fun wherever he can find it.
Angry Indeed Premium Member about 1 month ago
“Hold still. This won’t hurt a bit!”
Sun about 1 month ago
Calvin’s squirt gun that shoots out water isn’t going to cause you to melt, Mom.
eced52 about 1 month ago
You took so long it got bored and flew away.
jvo about 1 month ago
Someone’s lucky Calvin isn’t a Boy Scout.
mindjob about 1 month ago
Calvin realizes he doesn’t need his Death Ray Blaster
ladykat about 1 month ago
Don’t do it, Calvin!
Calvins Brother about 1 month ago
A missed opportunity to practice his aim.
DKHenderson about 1 month ago
I wonder just how many times that fly could have bitten Mom if she had, in fact, waited for Calvin. Most likely, she slapped the back of her own head while wondering “Why the heck did he run off?”
kathleenhicks62 about 1 month ago
BAD idea there Calvin.
Banjo Gordy Premium Member about 1 month ago
In 1939 I was give a water pistol. To load it you put the front in water & pull back a long wire with a ring on the end. My mom was kneeling in her garden weeding around flowers. A few squirts at her butt & I didn’t see the water pistol for a month. It was a very hot humid summer day & Mom was more surprised than angry.
kamoolah about 1 month ago
What can be, unburdened by what has been.
rockyridge1977 about 1 month ago
No longer target practice…..the real thang!!!!
Strawberry King about 1 month ago
Horseflies are real tough customers.