Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 05, 2013

Don’t worry, Rat — you’re going elsewhere.

I wonder if Stephan is religious or not.

I just called a Freemason – er, a mason…

Rat raises an interesting question, which I’d also like to know the answer to. If I have to hang around pushy Christians for the rest of my life, it isn’t really Heaven, is it?

You can stop worrying about that line of speculation, Rat. You’re not going to Heaven.—Nice homage to Sparky in today’s stage-set….

Who would have thought such a simple cartoon would inspire a bible study right here. God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform,

The question that Rat should be asking is, can they punch him?

You might retry your search using the word smite There’s usually some gore or at least icky stuff involved with smite.

So Rats question should be “Can I smite them?”

His bible study group actually asked him to stop talking while they were still in the parking lot before it ever started.

S’mite early in the morning for all this ….

Regarding New Testament/Old Testament: I like the OT because it’s so human. The books were all written from different points of view, and nobody agrees with the others. One says to accept the foreigner with open arms, the next says to drive out all the foreigners. It’s a book filled with the conflicting ideas and feelings of humanity. It is not, however, particularly good history. The NT is good till you get to Paul. Him I could do without for the most part.

Horrifying thought: what if Rat gets to heaven (or whatever comes after death) and just doesn’t feel like punching anyone?

A sad day in rock. Tomorrow, on PBS.

The bible. Which clearly states that the entire human race descended from a single incestuous family, twice…

Yeah, right.

I’m with Rat.

@SherlockWatson—Heaven doesn’t want Rat; whereas Hell is afraid he will take over!!

Rat should have no worries on that subject. Where he’s going punching people you don’t like, even ones you like, is encouraged…

OOOONNNCE There was this rat who, went to church on sundays and didn’t understand it and when, he went to the church; He asked if he could punch them in the faaaace, they couldn’t quite explain it they guessed that he was a jerk MMMM MMM MMM MM MMMM MMM MM MM….

Rat might get thumped by the bible thumpers…

Rat joined a bible study group? No wonder his confusion.

You obviously haven’t actually read the bible.

OOOOONNNNCEEE There was this poster who, responded to a parody that was made by The Impostor, and when, Impostor saw it, his day was automatically made, he couldn’t quite explain it, but he got what he meeeaaant MMM MMM MM MMMMM MMM MMM MMM…

…But both rat and Impostor were glad, cause one guy, had it worse than that

OOOOONNCCCE there was this zebra who, had to run from crocodiles on a daily basis and when he talked tooooooo them, they called him zeeba neeeeeeeeibah, he couldn’t quite explain it they’d always just said that

MMMM MMMM MMMM MMMM MMMM MMM MMM MMM MMMM…

On the 10th floor of the Acme building, Rat Noir, Private Eye is still looking for the answers to life’s persistent questions (apologies to Garrison Keillor)

In panel 3, in the bricks, I see Nevada between Rat and Goat and Montana in front of Rat’s nose. Anyone see anything else?

I’d make a u-turn and go the other way. A heaven filled with people I can’t stand is much worse than a hell filled with my favourite people.