Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 12, 2014
Transcript:
Goat: What do you have around your neck, Rat? Rat: 'Brain Alert'. It's my new invention for old people. Pig: What does it do? "An old persons telling a story when suddenly, he can't remember something that he's known for years." Man: And then the President before Reagan...you know, President...Oh, c'mon. The peanut guy. "On the verse of appearing like an old fool, he presses a button on the pendant around his neck." Man: Help! I've fallen mentally and I can't get up! "And our 'Brain Alert' team swoops in." Team: James Earl Carter. 'Jimmy' for short! "The 'Brain Alert' team will even help you with personal matters." Man: My grandson's name is... Team: Aiden. But you don't like him. Poorly behaved. Rat: We're even thinking of expanding our service to younger folk. Although the test-marketing on that has not gone well. Test 1: Sure has been nice to meet you... Test 2: Who the @*#@ is that? Team: Gina.
Sherlock Watson almost 11 years ago
BiT: Blonds in Turtlenecks — Coming soon to a theater near you!:Actually, I’ll never need that service; I have a pocket-sized notepad and a pencil.
Templo S.U.D. almost 11 years ago
What happens when the Brain Alert team get a brain fart and their co-workers get them too?
Ida No almost 11 years ago
Brain Alert, we’re there for you so you don’t have to be.
WoodEye almost 11 years ago
I need a “South of the belt” brain alert for my “other brain”!
Sisyphos almost 11 years ago
But are the Brain Alert guys really that fast to appear?! And do they always know the answer/missing information? I see many potential flaws in Rat’s invention, although I do like the idea….
swviews almost 11 years ago
Silly Rat, Brain Alert it already is a product it’s called Siri for the idjuts on apple phones.
corzak almost 11 years ago
I need to write a comment here and it needs to say . . . umm . . . click click click
lecrenb almost 11 years ago
I’ve gotta get me one of those… watchamacallits… you know, like help yopu remember… ah, you know what I mean… works like a tv remote…
… damn…
joeshmo30 almost 11 years ago
i have a cousain named aidan, he’s young too….
TwoHands almost 11 years ago
Thanks for publishing this on my 62nd birthday. I was gonna pretend to forget the bad name I wanted to call you but trust me – THAT I remembered.
Cary Rodda Premium Member almost 11 years ago
Do they have a version that helps you remember the names of people you just met 10 seconds ago? I’ll buy one of those!
Packratjohn Premium Member almost 11 years ago
Happy birthday, Sir or Madam. I’m here to tell you that you can survive being 62. I’m halfway through it. Took early retirement, so far so good. These days, however, I find I’m thinking a lot about the hereafter……. I walk into a room and try to remember what I came here after….
puddlesplatt almost 11 years ago
egads!
hariseldon59 almost 11 years ago
This doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.
Mostly Water Premium Member almost 11 years ago
I had a an old chihuahua. In his later years he often was found standing midway on the stairs wondering it he should go up or go down. Sometimes I would join him.
YatInExile almost 11 years ago
I don’t want to be reminded about the Peanut Guy.
pdggr almost 11 years ago
Don’t buy the cheap model like I did! Sometimes it doesn’t provide the desired information until hours later when I’m in bed trying get to sleep.
Grampus almost 11 years ago
I’m married… wife tells me what I need to know and what’s historically pertinent.
Radical-Knight almost 11 years ago
These are a good idea… called Wikipedia!
A_NY_Outlaw almost 11 years ago
sounds like a novice idea. I be needing that when it comes to names.
Gokie5 almost 11 years ago
“Rat’s softening.”He grows old . . . he grows old . . . (Paraphrase of “Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” T. S. Eliot.)
Gokie5 almost 11 years ago
I NEED ONE OF THEM . . . THINGS!
Number Three almost 11 years ago
Excellent!
xxx
JP Steve Premium Member almost 11 years ago
Anybody else thinking about panel three as an avatar?
Thomas L Wayne almost 11 years ago
Awesome.
ClarkSavageJr almost 11 years ago
General Motors already has it in their cars. It’s called . . . er . . . ahhh . . .darn – right on the tip of my tongue.
HeckleMeElmo almost 11 years ago
Two elderly couples were sitting down to dinner at a restaurant. The two husbands were talking about a memory clinic that one of them, Joe, had visited earlier that week.“Yeah, it’s got all of the latest and greatest memory stuff,” Joe was saying. “Visualization, association…all of that.”
“Hmm,” his buddy said. “I might want to take a class or two. What was it called?”Try as he might, Joe couldn’t remember the name of the clinic. Then he smiled.click click (“Hey, what’s the name of that flower, with the long stem and the thorns?”)(“You mean a rose?”)(“Yeah, that.”) Joe turned to his wife. “Hey, Rose—what was the name of that memory clinic?”
DannyDonkeyHatesPeople over 2 years ago
Why does rat need brain alert?