Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for January 23, 2014

  1. Black lion
    PICTO  almost 11 years ago

    Mr. and Mrs. Diddly are proud to announce the marriage of their daughter Jane to John son of Mr. and Mrs. Jack Squat. Jane has decided to use a hyphenated name. After the ceremony she will be known as Jane Diddly-Squat.

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  2. Penguins
    James Hopkins  almost 11 years ago

    And yet they still don’t know Jack.

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  3. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member almost 11 years ago

    I’m thinking of another Jack, but maybe he’s been relieved of duty.

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  4. Anishnawbe
    Allan CB Premium Member almost 11 years ago

    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

    We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,

    ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’

    Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

    Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

    Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,

    And they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

    Two of the other six chidren, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

    He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.

    Sincerely,Crock O. Schitt

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  5. Frog4
    Digital Frog  almost 11 years ago

    If their manager there is Jim Deuce, that would make a full house (Deuce is over Jacks)

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  6. Erroll for ror
    celeconecca  almost 11 years ago

    I am in awe of you people sometimes. Honestly. Thank you.

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  7. 5346ae65734b4d0e82350407ef0d8e00 250
    cleokaya  almost 11 years ago

    I wonder if the dexterous Jack B. Nimble works there? I’m sure Jack Around does.

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  8. Mountain lynx
    Shikamoo Premium Member almost 11 years ago

    Did anyone notice Jack’s breakfast is on his tie?

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