Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 01, 2014

Might be good if it was a cannibal restaurant?

Why not? They often eat your lunch anyway.

Right… Take a lawyer to lunch; you pickup the check and the drinks and then the lawyer that you treated to lunch charges you for consultation time…

The only way anyone should take a lawyer to lunch is if he (or She) is thinly sliced over a medium rare burger and put between two pieces of bread with bacon and cheese… Add fries, throw out the chip-chopped lawyer and enjoy.

Down at the Seaquarium , the sign says:“Make a lawyer lunch” outside the shark exhibit.

Feed ’em Fugu! …badly prepared Fugu!

If there was a “Take a lawyer out to the middle of the desert and leave him there” day, I’d do it. Anyone willing to host a “Take a lawyer out to the middle of the desert and leave him there” day? I’m buying.

Take A Bureaucrat To Lunch Day actually had a better turn out…..!

would work better at the jail house.

Actually, I’ve had clients offer to take me to lunch quite often. That way they get an hour’s consultation for the price of a sandwich (I’d never bill a client for the time I spend eating lunch with them) – and better yet, more than half the time I pick up the tab (and I’d never be so cheap as to charge it back to the client or hide the cost in my bill). I’m thinking you people either don’t actually know any lawyers, so they’re an easy target.

OK, someone has to give a good lawyer story. A few years ago, the government came after me for what they claimed was $12,000 in overpaid disability payments. It was total nonsense. I found a lawyer to represent me, pro bono. I don’t know all of the details of what she did, dealing with the fools for several months, but the situation was cleared up, no charge to me. There are good lawyers out there. To all the people with their lawyer jokes, if the day comes when you need one, I hope you find one as good as mine.

lawyers should be exterminated from the face of the earth. they should be drawn and quartered. their assets seized. they should be hanged by helicopter and their bodies dropped into the ocean ala scarface. they should be sterilized and castrated. their schools should be shutdown and their teachers burned at the stake. they should be lethally injected and botched where they suffer for 2 hours on the table because the state will not disclose their chemical cocktail. they should be used as human shields in gaza.

Most of the folks that “represent” us in the gov’t are a product of the legal profession. And people wonder why so many of us hate the government.

Yes, outlandish promotion. Traditionally treat their clients.

Two step improvement plan:1. Put a large catapult out front2. Change the sign to read: “Take A Lawyer To Launch Day”

Take a lawyer to lunch TODAY?!! HA!!!

Sounds like carp up here, but like the carp we would eat the axe head and throw away the lawyer.

My cousin (a lawyer) was discussing a couple of cases with me.

“So this loser takes a dive on the sidewalk outside my client’s property.”

“While attempting to scale the obstacles strewn about like booby-traps in front of the defendant’s home …”

I would have taken my ex-boyfriend. Sadly, he died in 2000.

Tom Paxton’s song “One Million Lawyers” came out maybe a decade ago. We could lose a few and never notice.

Hannibal Lector would have a lawyer for lunch… or dinner… or breakfast…. reportedly tastes like shark or barracuda…

Strange thing is that the bar across the street did this last week and made a bundle…..the special was the reason “BOGO’s on mixed drinks” so for every three martini’s 6 showed up….sponges were then sold to survivors for $300 a piece!

OK, is it time for old bad jokes about lawyers yet?