Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 11, 2014
September 08, 2014
September 15, 2014
Transcript:
deleted birds not to birdwatchers. the following birds are no longer recognized by the audubon society. please adjust your life list accordingly. thank you. eastern pottymouthed snark assails bird-watchers with cruude insults & profanity. call - "get a life you what're you lookin' at take your binoculars and." great downy oftmolt difficult to actually see as it's often surrounded by a suffocating cloud of feathers. call - "cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough." flightless grouse plods up and down the eastern u.s. whining the whole damn time. call - "ow ow ow ow my feet hurt my feet hurt ow ow ow ow." unmitigated gull this is one show-offy little creep. call - "look at this plumage! great, huh? you guys from national geographic? how about a picture? you wanna see my mating dance?" commonplace dullard no distinguishing marks of any kind, really. hangs around with other cooler birds who wish it wouldn't. call - "hey wait up wait up c'mon guys wait up."
Sisyphos over 10 years ago
Yes, yes, the Commonplace Dullard is no more! I’m saved!
WaitingMan over 10 years ago
“Look at the grouse.”, Curly Howard
puddlesplatt over 10 years ago
I’ve got crows oftmolts…now talk aboot ugly>
OldestandWisest over 10 years ago
Unmitigated Gull, your plumage is nowhere near as beautiful as that of the Norwegian Blue parrot.
ChessPirate over 10 years ago
So, the Pee-ping Waterfoul, The Gamey Hen, The Flaming Go, and The Earworm Hummingbird are still safe.
DHurd almost 5 years ago
Meanwhile the chicken of depression is alive and doing quite well.