For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for April 12, 2010

NOW he’s starting to get it.

You have the right to remain SILENT … and if you DON’T know what to say, USE that right!

It’s all compromise, she wanted a cat, I didn’t want a cat, we comproised, we got a cat (I know my spelling sucks).

Jon, you got some “splainin” to do! Perhaps you should buy her some flowers, take her out to a nice restaurant? That MIGHT help… ;-)

Better yet, buy her the biggest, fanciest can opener in the store and offer it while apologizing profusely - then take her out to to dinner.

She’s pinching pennies on essentials while he’s splurging big time on luxuries. Classic cause of marital conflict. Different approaches to handling money. Get thee to a marriage counselor!

As a physician for years I heard my male friends complain about the fact they were working for income but the money had to be split. See most of the comments above.

But now women have becoming the majority in medicine and shockingly my female fiends are now bitterly complaining. “I work 10-12 hour days, he stays home and he gets half MY income”.

I predict that as women begin to outearn their men we will hear fewer complaints of how unfair the system is and more I earned it it should be mine.

(Speaking as the wife here) - no, John, you shouldn’t have asked if you could buy the stereo. You should have said you wanted to and asked what she thought, and discussed it. But nobody should be asking anybody for permission (nobody should have that much power!)

When I was a stay at home wifey, It was OUR money, but since he worked hard for it, he had final ruling. Yes, I earned my part by doing housework and taking care of the kids, but I chose to spend my part frugally. Now that I work, my money is mine and his is his. We don’t even put ours together.

i would have asked my wife, she would have checked around for the best price and then we would have discussed if we could afford it and if we really needed it at that time

if we needed extra money, i just put in some overtime and viola, there it was

GROWL !

ok everyone look intimidated !

growl?? growl?? even after john admitted he was wrong? nice going elly…

when you’ve been married as long as I have, you know-it-alls, you’d realize that if you live long enough you’ll have been able to tally a list of wrong moves on HIS part and he on HERS to warrant 192 Mideastern divorces. I once read that in certain countries, all the man (natch) had to do was stamp his foot three times and shout “I want a divorce!” and it was done.

I’ve been stamping my foot like that forever at my husband and you know what? It doesn’t seem to work in this country. You will all learn in the end that if you want to stay married to the one you chose originally, you’re going to have to learn to overlook a lot, grow slightly deaf to insults, etc. etc.

Good luck and maybe you’ll reach 50 years of wedded bliss. (If you can imagine that number!)

Well, at least John is upbeat about it… although he may be sleeping in his dentist chair for a while…

@natvold—-God bless you for fifty years.

Niether my wife or I is the other’s first, but we will be married 20 years in the summer ahead. Has it all been good? No. Have had some disagreements? Yes. We have both learned, you can’t throw people away like you do broken merchandise. Bless you all.

I’ve had this very same conersation with MY husband. Sometimes I’m the growler, sometimes I’m the growlee

Jon and Elly are still young. Committed to each other/to their marriage. They’ll learn from this and pass on some good principles to their children.

As I remember, Jon does at least two more grand faux pas in their marriage: his sports car and his electric train set.

This is a married man with kids who needs a life independent of his family, if only in his imagination. Back in the days of real male privilege, this was easy for a man to do without any loss of respect, even from his wife. In the past two generations, not so much. But the need is still there, probably for most men to some extent. IMO the typically male urge to blow money unnecessarily on high-tech toys from time to time is a good compromise and safety valve. A guy shouldn’t be made to feel defensive for doing it, as long as the family can afford it and it’s only from time to time.

Susan001

Sorry, a typo.

John, you should buy Elly a brand new cookwares and everything what in the kitchen they need to have. Elly will be appreciated it very much tho’.

Reminds me of my first marriage! He bought everything he wanted, while I did without - crummy kitchen stove, ragged undies. When we split (not over money) after 10 years and 2 kids, he felt he was entitled to most of our possessions because he had bought most of them! I learned from this and insisted on my own bank account when I married husband No. 2.. When we split, after 9 years, I kept my half.

At last I have found the right husband. We’ve been happy together 25 years and counting. We talk over everything, especially major purchases, and we don’t make a major decision until we reach consensus. We’re still in love and very happy.

I wish Cathy would stomp her foot three times and divorce Irving. Stomp right on his foot!

John is awfully slow. After two kids, why hasn’t he learned to decipher her growling, and snarling, and barking yet? It’s all she ever does when she isn’t complaining or bemoaning her wasted life.

“Elly, do you take John to be your lawfully wedded husband….?”

He didn’t get it then, and apparently he doesn’t get it now either.

Ocean17 I think everyone should have a hobby that they love to do. I don’t see the problem with John having the trainset, coming from a family of American Flyer and Loinel collectors myself. Everyone needs something to get their mind off other things. Women have hobbies too. Look at how many knit or quilt or whatever. The car and the stereo are another story

John should cut Elly’s allowance off and then see how well she does.

Yes, for worse, lol.

The Pattersons didn’t have the benefit of our sage advice back then.

Cut Elly’s allowance off? Runar, shame on you…GROWWL! You must have known you’d get reaction from people (women especially) when you made that comment, you devil!!!

When I first read the strip, my first reaction was: That’s as funny as it can be!!! Pure and simple. A cute funny illustration of a big topic: communication.

Then I thought, Uh-oh! I have to read the comments. Its going to get mangled and chewed up according to the reader’s personal bend. But, it totally enhances the comic experience. And so

kfaatz925 perfect addition howtheduck: about the growl…she was communicating 3139lip: its good to hear a happy ending, thanks.

And finally, I let all the jabs I took personally slide….. until runar: That’s just dumb, runar. John would be in much worse shape, if she cut-off all she does. (Those are his kids, too. incase you’re calculating).

How can ya not jump in? I feel like I just worked out! What happened to the spammer. Does he/she face any jail time, or bodily harm?? Just askin.

Libertarian1–Re: female fiends–There is a third option: freudian slip!

And anyone who thinks buying Ellie a high-end can opener will make up for buying John a high-end stereo knows even less about women (and toys) than I do!!!

I’m not so sure he would have gotten as much of the “reaction” back then as he gets today – the negativity would have been directed more at Elly. Elly may seem exaggerated, but women really did have to fight for the rights we enjoy today back in this time period. If it took “growling” that’s what we used, if it took divorce, that’s what we used. And we got called lots of nasty names, accused of all kinds of terrible activities, ridiculed, censored, chased from our homes and injured. But we did win a few rights and some of us are happier today because of it.

lindz.coop: EXACTLY!

Ophelia: You sound kinda tired. Can you sit back, kick off your shoes, put your feet up on the coffee table? I’ll be right back with a tall gin and tonic and a fresh sprig of mint. It’s 4:PM, see if Oprah is on.