Pickles by Brian Crane for November 26, 2014

Somewhere between the naysayers and the promoters is reality.

My car clock is about 1 hour 5 minutes fast. It is really a bother to turn it back, so I don’t bother. Oh and that 1 hour magically disappears in the spring anyway.

I pretty much quit wearing watches. I’m learning to run on Indian time. Less stressful.

Or you can just call 1-303-499-7111. If you have a shortwave radio it’s even easier.

My mother couldn’t wear a watch with any metal without it stopping. It was suggested it had something to do with magnetism.

Why?

With a clock in sight everywhere you turn; I gave them up. I see three clocks from where I currently sit.

At their time in life, why wear a watch to begin with? I would imagine time is much less of a concern after retirement. It’s not like you put 1. 9.00, McDonalds…2. 9.45, park…3.10.30, call home, see if the old bat is up yet, etc…

Since the invention of the cell phone, I don’t even own a watch any more.

I wear two watches also. One runs and the other doesn’t. The stopped one is right twice a day. That’s why I wear the other one — so I can tell when the stopped one is right.

When I was in middle school a class mate wore two watches. He had noticed that the school clocks were all three minutes different than “outside” time. When someone asked, “What time is it?” He would ask, “Inside or outside?”

Oh you can never have too many watches or clocks!

xxx

This reminds me of a funny Three Stooges gag…

Moe: “Hey, porcupine! What time is it?”(Larry rolls up his sleeve, revealing three watches)Larry: “Why, it’s, uh…”Moe: “What’s the idea of the three watches?”Larry: "Well — " (points to the first watch) “This one runs ten minutes fast every two hours.” (points to the third watch) “This one runs twenty minutes slow every four hours.” (points to the second watch) “The one in the middle is broken. It stopped at two o’clock.”Moe: “So what time is it now?”(Larry pulls a fourth watch out of his pocket)Larry: “Why, it’s 3:15! Simple, ain’t it?”Moe: “Yeah, and so are you!”(Moe grabs Larry’s nose with his left fist and punches it with his right)

Allergic to metal?Part werewolf? Maybe silver is just the best-known werewolf allergen.