Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 11, 2015

Keep losing weight, Jef — we can still see you!

Even Jef’s skeleton doesn’t have the cycling suit NOR sunglasses?

Put a turbin on him and he could go to work for Jeff Dunham!

Cyclists! You own a bicycle, you don’t own the road!

It’s not just the extra weight loss, it’s the increased aerodynamics.

Keep going, Jef! Get your weight down to ZERO!

Keep going, Jef! Get your weight down to ZERO!

It is this dedication, the willingness to go to the extreme in pursuit of a goal, that makes the world a wonderful place.Well… on average.

“I love the coffee here, but I swear it goes right through me!”

Anybody else notice that Jef is naked?

Jeff’s diet has made him quite wind resistant.

that I liked, the little brain…ha ha

you know that despite weight advantage, without muscles there is no power to propel the bike forward fast, and without digestive system, he would have to constantly fuel himself calories so he won’t faint for lack of energy, so Big Show riding a big bike would beat him even going downhill

… most road taxes are paid by everyone. Or come from really random places. Only rarely are car taxes doing much for roads, where car taxes even exist. So we all own them – even the pedestrians. Even the housebound!

He might as well take off the helmet. That’s another pound right there.

A skeleton walks into a bar. Says to the bartender, “Give me a beer and a mop.”

Quit pickin’ on ole` Frazz

Must be auditioning for the skeleton team for winter olympics.

Back in the day when I was biking, I considered buying an expensive lighter bike, but thought it would make more sense to lose weight first. Which I never did.Regarding cars owning the roads, yes they do, but most bikers also have cars, so it’s not a very valid point.Now attitude – many bikers have this ‘no I won’t pull over into the bike lane – you going to run over me?’ attitude, so those bikers clearly need some PR training.When I moved to Texas, I quit biking because every year a handful of motorists answer that last question “Yes, I think I will.”

There’s enough blame to go around. I’ve watched when a bike tour came through my town, and rolled through; ignoring red lights, stop signs and yield to pedestrian signs. Our town finally had to put cops at the those places to stop the bikes so autos and pedestrians could cross. And plenty of times the pedal pushers are the ones going five miles per hour, in clumps that fill the whole lane with autos backed up behind them. My solution, I park somewhere I won’t have to encounter them on my way home, stand on the sidewalk, smile and wave.

I am an advocate of health and healthy eating choices. Nothing wrong with wanting to live healthy as long as you can. I draw the line at fanaticsm. Folks should determine what is their “body boundary” and not go past it. Otherwise you end up hurting the body and not helping it. Look at Hollywood and the fashion industry. Prisoners of their own ridiculous notions on what looks good. Skeletons in designer gowns who harm themselves on a daily basis or stress the body the first week after giving birth. All for the elusive size 0. News flash, not everyone looks healthy at a size 0. Too many lolly-pops (normal size head on stick body) walking down the cat-walk and the red carpet. They send negative messages to women and teenage girls.

Probably belongs to the same family that follows me when I’m riding my trike on the edge of the 4 lane 45 mph road doing 15 for a couple of miles when there is no traffic in the other lane meaning they could easily go around me but is too busy looking at a cell phone and THEY are backing up traffic that too stupid to go around them too!

Yeah,PBS. :)

Jef’s looking better than usual today.

But with no muscles he’ll be alot slower than he was before.

I’m trying to lose a few pounds myself.

But Jef has definitely taken it too far!

xxx

Stripped down to his bare essentials, Jef the Cyclist doesn’t look so smug anymore. But I bet his aerodynamics now are lousy….

He tried to ride faster than his “fat” times, but it ended up being a dead heat.

Maybe you should get rid of the helmet, might have you speed up more…

Chop of his head, at least he will be 20 pounds lighter.