Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 26, 2015

Transcript:

issue 34 collector's edition it's free comic book day!!! captain rolemodel rmc unlike most, captain rolemodel practices preventive superheroics cap: what's that below? a child! engaged in aimless loitering! must get to him in time! everybody knows kids need positive role models. cap: else they may grow up to be supervillains, like slugman or the sullen creep or the fiendish mr. uh-oh! cap: if i'm too late, this kid could eventually become dr. negatron, ph.d, criminal master-mind! he's a ticking timebomb! out of my way! on, why can't i fly? kid: wow! captain rolemodel! i though you wore a cape. cap: not any more. it was a choking hazard, like if someone grabbed it from behind. whew uf puf cap: now, under the influence of my positive mentoring power, you will be-come a productive member of society! kid: gosh soon- cap: aren't i a refreshing change from all those dark, angst-ridden superheroes? kid: and how! for the first time in my young life, i feel a sense of structure & purpose! x-ray pants loads of laffs! slight cancer risk all sizes - $1795 the visible potato 3-d model not a toy it's a real working potato! $295 better posture instantly! new miracle spinal fluid additive throw your sense of smell! information booklet 35c big money learn mink ranching at home puny? try our escalator shoes! patented, pair - 1595 rubber goiters by mail! special value - 99c