Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for March 26, 2016

He’s only going to use it at school for educational purposes.

I never got any cool toys when I was a kid, either.

Outside is worse. He could start a forest fire.

Why not dad? Calvin is a harmless kid…cough, cough.

I lived in a coal mining community in rural Arkansas, 1940s and 1950s,We made a lot of carbide cannons. I once had a 5 gallon bucket of gunpowder to play with.I made a lot of forts, using 30-06 brass as cannons.The Indigenous Peoples always won when they burned the fort where the Undocumented Aliens were holed up.A fort with bristling cannon was no match for fire arrows shot from a clothespin match shooter. The UAs weren’t careful with where they stored their gunpowder.

I didn’t even get a bicycle. Forty years later, that still rankles.

Back in the 60’s my best friend and I collected every little green army man , tank, airplane,etc and lined up opposing battle lines. Then went to the hobby store and bought a box of 500 hobby rocket igniters and replaced all the fuses in the m-80’s we had saved for two years and buried them in the battle field after stringing them with light speaker wire. Next came my dad’s tractor battery. Lying on the ground we started touching off wires to the battery. The battle was overwhelming. The horror. Then we looked up and saw my dad. With a grim look on his face he looked down on us and said that this was the most impressive display he had ever seen and “Now put my battery back in the tractor.” We were ten at the time

No hairspray handy? Use WD-40.

You can get a landscaping type of flame thrower powered by a propane tank at Home Depot. Doesn’t have the distance of one using gasoline or kerosene, but it makes a noise like a burner in a hot air balloon. Not as effective on weeds as Round-Up, but it doesn’t drift on a slight breeze and kill the garden plants, either.

You can always Live & Let Die…Start at @ 4 minutes…

Fires can start quickly if you brought it to a camping trip!

Ask Dad for a nice harmless iPad instead.

Oops. Of course. Silly me.

xxx

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Oh, well, in that case…

Make a protest to the NRA against your dad

WHAT? Like no kid has ever tried that?

Its a good thing Calvin doesn’t have access to the Internet, he’d be able to build one with spare parts in the garage.