Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for August 15, 2016

An unhappy bride makes for an unhappy honeymoon.

The groom left. Who’s the narcissist… the bride or groom?

3. Perfectly cooked, separate grains.

A headache can mean somethings wrong.

Someone asked last week if The Old Wolf had been banned. I just checked his profile page. He posted something 17 hours ago (when I checked at 1am EST).

The look on the rice lady’s face and the word PAINFUL makes today’s FA painful to read.

Calling Uncle Ben! He’d cheer her up with this wild rice blend.(By the way, wild rice isn’t actually rice. It’s a kind of grass.)

You are right honey, I really don’t have a migraine, it is just that I am already pregnant.

Rice is great when you want 2000 of something….

Is it a serving spoon full of rice, or fried maggots?(A legitimate food item in Thailand.).The words are from an essay on ego and values.

3. Simmer in a covered pan for 30 minutes.

I am not pictured here, but I am that grain of rice that is perfect and better than all the others. I know this because I constantly compare myself to the others, having a superior justification for each and every aspect of my character and behavior, while all the others are merely common and lacking in any true nobility. My sense of separate self is only painful because I realize I am the sole perfected being in a world congested with lesser beings. It takes constant effort to always be better than everybody else, repairing every slight and correcting every misconception.(And they are ALL misconceived and misbegotten in my view! Oh, the burden it is, to be me!)

Narcissistic personality is the gateway to neurotic sociopath… but then that’s like looking for that “sort of off white” grain of rice among all those hundreds of thousands of “slightly off white grains.”

…porcupine balls…

Painful sense of self?Ego puffed and swollen?New and Improved Numbital may be the answer.Unlike the old Numbital, which is now passed its grace period and may be reproduced and sold as a generic OTC, New and Improved Numbital has 7% mortalcyn, only recently approved* by the FDA for human consumption. Why drag through the day when you can soar? Ask your doctor if Numbital is right for you!-*May cause hemorrhoidal bleeding, gum disease, brain damage, uncontrollable laughter and shaking and in rare cases, Frog Applause addiction.

How am I to separate the narcissism from the painful neurotic self-sense? Am I not One?! It would be like trying to separate the grains of cooked, bland, mushy white rice, one from another, as anyone concerned with his or her Picky Eater Ranking must do (see our Rôle Model, Petey Otterloop, for enlightenment).

Sushi made from single grains of rice.