Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 24, 2016

Beer and unprotected sex is the first lesson for fertility doctors.

The real-life Pastis seems like a much more caring dad than his cartoon self… thank goodness!

Would help if the wife had not kicked him out.

Not the wisest advice I must say. Go with the adoption. Hopefully, you will skip the diaper phase and give a poor kid a home.

Well, at least Rat, Pig, Goat, Zebra, or the crocodiles didn’t butt in to help Bob out.

He named them Regret, Mistake, and Accident.

Neighbor Bob can’t salute the flag, if you know what I mean.

Wait, what? You’re allowed to say “had sex” in newspaper comics? I’m not saying that’s in any way bad, I’m just surprised.

Well Bob you may as well give it a try :-)

This strip makes sick sometimes.

Adoption isn’t easy as most of the children up for adoption are pretty damaged. It takes an unusually good couple to care for them. Most have been neglected, abused, even sexually abused. A lot of it’s drug related. My cousin and his wife are trying to adopt 3 boys whose druggie parents simply dropped them off at children’s services then disappeared. So you have to be willing to take on those problems when you adopt a child these days. They had been in other foster homes where they were physically and sexually abused. Plus they had been neglected and physically abused by their parents when drugged up, and the parents had “rented” them out to pedophiles for drug money as well. The boys have loads of problems, as you can imagine, and it’s going to take a long time to get them straightened out. People who adopt such children are sure earning their spots in heaven the hard way.

My Mom and Dad couldn’t have kids, so they adopted my sister and I. Of course this was about 50 years ago when the process was a bit simpler..Both her and I were adopted as newborns. (about a year and a half apart and from different parents.) We turned out OK. Needless to say, we both are against abortion. We’re living proof that adoption is an excellent alternative.

The first thing they need to do is set aside time every week for counseling, individually and as a family. They can heal. Children are resilient, even though they will carry the damage with them the rest of their lives. My prayers are with the family, and those poor, sweet souls.

Haha, apparently the comic sensors are on vacation! Love it!

LOL

I think it’s kind of understood that if she had sex with Pastis, she was drunk.

You’ll drive a much better car without kids

Lazys and germs, your Father of the Year

Theme song for this strip:Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw by Jimmy Buffet.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH-cPckntEY

Cartoon-Boy was lucky. I’m pretty sure Cartoon-Staci will keep the kids. So, he had ‘em; now she’s got ’em. Perfect world!

Anyone who has a kid should be fined for the life of the kid.

Neighbor Bob — The cure, Foster Children with special needs. Also gets you into heaven, no questions asked.

He makes Homer Simpson look like a good father.

Gee, Pastis, it doesn’t say much for Staci if you had to get drunk.

Has Stephan’s kids ever been included in the strip?

I just remember his wife.

xxx

…not sure if funny or sad.

Adoption: twice the fun when you have a physical disability. Social services seems absolutely convinced that you need two fully-functional legs to adopt a child. (I am an amputee and my wife is in a wheelchair due to cerebral palsy.) We just gave up.

I think getting drunk and having sex is a bigger problem for the female than the male.

Sometimes his kids wave to him when passing his basket on the front porch.

Stephan dude…u got away with this? in the paper? damn