Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 06, 2016

They were Giants’ fans.

They were refugees from Utah.

“Yes — I just saved 15 percent on my car insurance!”

As much as I’m a Seahawks fan, I’d be surprised if I had that comeback when sharing the Gospel according to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

You should have offered them a beer.

I believe the people we are talking about are Jehovah’s Witnesses.

When it comes to sports, religion or politics, you better be cautious. If it reaches the level of fanaticism, you should be afraid.

Last time I saw a pair of these young guys they were sitting at a table in a fast food restaurant. I recognized them by their dress and the books they had. I spoke to them and said it made me feel good to see people out working to do good in the world. They appreciated that and said they rarely got that kind of positive comment from random strangers, and they dutifully asked after my own spiritual well being as a prelude to presenting their witness. I said something like… No, sorry, I’m a hard nut to crack. I’ve worked out my own understanding of those things and am not very responsive in areas that I’ve already thought long and hard about… and made my own peace with. But don’t be discouraged by people like me….

“I believe”

Me too! I believe!! ;o)

Being from S.W.Pa. we are very proud of the Steelers ! But they still have to run the table to get to the playoffs. Go Steelers !

You should be very careful Rat…these are men of God you are dealing with.

Mormons dress like twins, and favor short sleeved shirts with black ties in warm weather.. Witnesses dress in whatever they want, but they need to dress well, usually a jacket, but sometimes a sweater, and sometimes just a shirt, but that’s rare. I’ve had both visit. I can tell them apart immediately. Same way with the finches and sparrows that visit my feeders.

Rat, I think you’d understand them better if you’d just start going to church once a week, not to mention confess your sins twice a year, and LOVE THY NEIGHBOR!

In the house I grew up in, Jehovah’s Witnesses would come by and stay and chat with my mom while she was ill. They helped her with small things, even brought some meals and little gifts of caring to her. I was and am grateful, since I could not be there for her as I would have wanted. They helped her feel not alone.

Yea, I don’t like the Steelers, either.

LMAO! That’s how you do it Rat!

I used to like to talk to Jehovahs that came to the door but they misunderstood my interest as religious. I am interested IN religion, not BECOMING religious. There is a difference. I don’t understand religion as if God is everywhere, why do I need a middleman to intercede for me! Especially one who wears $5,000 suits!!!

A few years ago, a trio of religious converters, one man and two women, came to my house and rang my doorbell on a Saturday morning. When I opened the door, the man said “Good morning,” and then asked ,“Do you know what the future holds for us?”. I said, “Yes. I do.” and noticed the astonished looks on their faces as I shut the door.

Ravens still beat the Steelers this season!

At the risk of being pedantic, I’ve sometimes wondered why Stephan always phrases it as “Can I help you?” instead of “May”. Is he just intentionally pandering to the masses (i.e. more people say this incorrect version than the correct way)? Or does he really not know the correct way it’s said (which I would highly doubt is the reason)? Not that it matters, really. I do cringe a little when I see it, since “can” means you’re asking “Am I able to help you?” rather than what is intended, but now I’m so used to people saying it the wrong way that I’ve acquiesced to it. Anyway, just a curiosity here, nothing more.

I thought the news was that there’s good rockin’ tonight.

Jesus: the hide and seek reigning champion.

It’s been 2000 years, and Jehovah’s witnesses keep coming to my door and asking if I’ve found him.

I agree with jonjonzz’s approach. While I coose not to believe in religions I do have faith that there is a God. I have what I feel is adequate proof to affirm my faith, And I don’t give a Rat’s patoot (see? I got the strip in here !) whether anyone agrees with me.

I don’t think that anyone who chooses not to have faith that there is a God is foolish, nor stupid. It is what they choose to have faith in. I should simply be an excercise in philosophical discussion.

I send my missionaries out with a six pack. Works most of the time.

The last time missionaries showed up at my door, I told them I’d listen to their spiel if they’d give me equal time to proselytize for Satan…

My standard answer is “I am a hard core atheist, you’re wasting your time with me”.

On the subject of what faith is: Did you know that Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as something that is “evident?” That means that the faith the Bible talks about requires evidence to support it. It is not belief, nor gullibility. Even though I have never seen gravity, nor have scientists been able to completely describe it, I have faith it exists because I have seen evidence for it. Faith in God must work the same way or it is just belief or gullibility. Interesting, huh?*Oh, and Mormons wear backpacks when riding on their bikes. JWs never wear backpacks. And JW’s never refer to themselves as “Jehovahs,” because that is God’s personal name found in the oldest texts. They call themselves “Witnesses,” because that is what they are. They kindly don’t snicker at people who call them Jehovahs, because they clearly are not God.*Fun facts for everyone! And I still think there is an outside chance for the Packers!

Sorry, I don’t have time to read 46 comments. I just wanted to say THIS IS HILARIOUS!

I used to travel a lot, but thankfully I’ve been retired since 2K. Is ISIS putting Korans in motel rooms yet?

I think they are running a child sex ring in back of a pizza place.

I would like to believe, but the Lions have disappointed me so often…

Religious pests are annoying. They should grow up and realize their childish fantasies are ridiculous.

Religious cults are good for nothing but violence and brainwashing.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

I have nothing against religion but people going door-to-door trying to preach about God is unnecessary.

Plus, I wouldn’t be popular with Jehovah’s Witnesses since I’m a blood donor.

xxx

Different religion.

Why would they not high-five Rat?

Are they prejudiced against rats?

Are they prejudiced against the Steelers?

Are they ignorant of sports-gestures?

Are they out on the wrong day of the week?

So many questions, so few answers,…

Rat must not have listened to much Carlin. Otherwise he would have already had his chalk outline with religious pamphlet’s scattered around it waiting for them to show.

Not possible to claim to be an Athiest because to be devoid of something, one must acknowledge that “something”. No?

I always thought Jesus would make a heckuva quarterback.

Dunno if he would choose to be a Steeler (one could only hope), but we know he would always convert 3rd downs into 1st downs.

Here is Socal they wear black pants, dress shoes. white short sleeved shirts and ties. They ride mountain bikes and have regulation haircuts and no visible tattoos or piercings.

Yep, they stand out like a sore thumb.

By teh way, those people are from Mt religion(most of the time) and are called missionaries, to those who are wondering.