Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 16, 2016

The upside of a free-market economy.

But if buying off your sins is a sin, you’re now stuck in a cyclical trap.

Rat has always been into Indulgences.

In God we trust — all others pay cash.

Already went to confession for Advent. The priest didn’t ask me for money, even though in ancient times he’d have done so since indulgences, not confession, existed at the time.

Old habit of the Catholic Church.

Here’s $50…The weekend is coming,I should probably be carrying a balance.

Ethics? We don’t need no stinking ethics!!

Rat you have Beer at your church…………or Wine ….

Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap ,

(or should that be "downright cheap " ? )

I know a lot of Christians who seem to think this is how it works.

That is why Henry VIII through Catholic Church out of England, they owned most of it thru indulgences.

Rat, watch out or you are going to get feces nailed to your door. Theses, I mean, theses!!

I saw a video once of one of those TV preachers who claimed he received messages straight from God. He would close his eyes and get a pained expression on his face to show that he was being informed by the Almighty. Someone had edited in fart sounds every time he scrunched up his face. Hilarious!

Sounds about right. However it’s not quite so overt. You sin, you go to church, you tithe or give an offering and your sins are forgiven. Of course they are more covert than that, you don’t have to tithe or offer in order for your sins to be forgiven, but we all know that church expects payment for ‘services’ rendered.

oh, geeze……..

Old Jokester Marty, he’s out doing more crazy pranks.

Quite a few bills there – that many people still acknowledge they sin!?

Maybe not ethical, but legal.

In a not-so-odd way, it actually makes more sense to resolve your sins with a fine, rather than praying to an imaginary friend. What really matters is that you don’t waste your sinning. Find sins you really, really enjoy.

Rat is a sin eater.

Is Rat being type-cast here?

As I learned in church when I was a kid…Bingo!

Rat’s sin is selling out too cheaply. A good indulgence is worth at least a boat payment to the priest.

So… just like every other Abrahamic religion.

I see now. The path to heaven is a toll road. Next – Rat will move to the seacoast so that he will be there when the tithe rolls in.

Reminds me of a televangelist (can’t remember who off the top of my head) who said if he didn’t raise x amount of money by such and such a date god was going to take him. There was someone who donated about have what he was looking for. They interviewed some people on the news about it. Wish they had interviewed me. I would have said something to the effect that if these people want to be taken in by this bunco artist that is their problem.

It worked for the Roman Catholic Church in the Middle Ages

I would expect Rat’s jar to be practically overflowing with cash.

xxx

I see Rat is hiding his Pardoner’s tail under his cassock.

It’s called “indulgences”

That’s the way it worked in the Middle Ages.

Mr Pastis, i think you’ll appreciate this…2 years ago I got my wife a Star Wars action figure for Christmas….did I get strange looks!…I said now you can tell everyone I bought you a new toy Yoda

I don’t think you’re allowed to forgive yourself, Fr. Rat, even for a fiver….

The religion industry is very lucrative.

Simony, now, huh, Rat? No low to which you will not stoop.

I should not be laughing at this.