Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 03, 2016

Yes, readers, those are real things.

And we all know what giant zombie butterflies like.

My pigbutt worm can beat up your bearded fireworm. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigbutt_worm

Mares eat oats,

and does eat oats.

And, little lambs eat ivy.

A kid’l eat ivy too.

I like cheese.

I gave it up once, because they said my cholesterol was too high.

For six weeks, I adhered religiously to a diet without eggs, bacon, dairy and other essential dietary items.

After six weeks, my cholesterol had gone up two points.

I was instructed to stay on the diet and test again in six weeks.

I totally dropped it, living on meat and cheese and frozen custard and eggs and all things deadly.

I tested fifteen points lower.

Freaking amateurs…

I keep a breeding colony of snotlings to feed the local Yule Cat so that it won’t go after the neighbors who like to wear old clothes.

Let the cheesy popcorn and butter fly.

I got your bearded fireworm right here lady!

Do you have any deep-fried, breaded fireworms on a stick?

Do you see the duck,, or the rabbit?

Feeling hungry and the breaking down of protein over carbs matters, cheese in moderation is protein with little or no carbs, along with eggs, and meat.

Remember fruits and vegetables are great although they still should count in your carb total per meal.

There’s no such thing as rope squirrel. You just made that up.

What about the rope-a-dope squirrel?

That looks like an alien Grinch.

Excellent, I’ll provide such items, shortly after we happen to plan an arrangement to meet then greet one another..

Being neither tropical, nor subtropical, I found no sign of the fire footed rope squirrel.

I had heard of rope squirrels in Colorado, since the change in the laws, but I had yet to actually see one, and I’m pretty sure that was something else anyway.

And I don’t want to know what sort of polyps they were discussing.

Coral grows from polyps, bearded fire worms like to eat them; fire-footed squirrels like hot varieties of fruit and seeds.

I’m pretty sure those aren’t the same polyps being discussed by the rope squirrels at the proctologist’s office in Colorado.

I see a snake eating a butter fly.

I had this buttery cheese for breakfast when I was staying in Amsterdam, to die for.

I have an annoying neighbor I often refer to as bot-fly infested, does that count?