Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 03, 2017

Hosernoser to the finish.

Hence the Squatty Potty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

Some people know squat about defecation …

Perhaps if we could relax the angle between twitter and facebook in conjunction with relaxing the sphincters between the internet and the alternate facts then the real world wouldn’t be so full of the products of defecation .

You mean, by leaning forward to read the newspaper laid out on the floor was the RIGHT thing to do?

She politely asked what the coffee can was for as we undocked and went towards an old fishing hole. I said here have a beer. She drank it down and wanted more. A few hours later she really had to go. Why that"s what the coffee can is for as I stood up and went over the side of the boat. You’re full of you know what if I can hit that coffee can in this boat. She pulled down and squatted over the side:) Then was scared to death and convinced a coffee can or nothing doing.

The orientals have the right idea, but if you’ve got a bad sense of balance it’s always an adventure.

Having a tree to accompany oneself to back up against to practice a squatting position when nature calls, shall help balance the situation..

You know candy is dandy and liquor is quicker

You can drink all the liquor down in Costa Rica

Baby, ain’t nobody’s business but your own

- Taj Mahal; Ain’t Nobody’s Business But My Own

We modern citizens do a lot of unhealthy things because of the omnipotent-but-callous market we function in.

… gives new definition to the term squatter rights…

…Terry has such a potty mouth today…

…I am more concerned with the lack of quality toilet paper today…

…all single ply- narrower…

…aaah, for the good old days when they used to have a roll…

…it’s hard to read Reader’s Digest while squatting…

Dear FA friends of Rotifer Thalweg

I have sad news about Rotifer. Just when it looked like he was about to overcome his lasagna addiction on his own, he was scanning his limited edition Frog Applause: Survival of the Lamest – Teresa’s 40th Book (signed by the author!). He saw a glimpse of Garfield’s tail in a cartoon from October of 2010. Well, that sent him on a real bender. We had to have an intervention, and he’s agreed to go to “camp” at an undisclosed location out of the country that specializes in the treatment of pasta-related dependencies with salt air, sails, sand and sunshine (oh. and tequila. LOTS of tequila).

If all goes well he’ll be back in about 10 days.

Sincerely,

Mother Thalweg

…or you could just bend forward when siting on the toilet.

…and the bidet is NOT for squatting!

At my age squatting isn’t a problem…getting back upright is !

Who knew there where 50 types of sphincters in the human body. I sphinct therefore I am.

Pure Turkish toilet propaganda! Fake news!

Try out a Japanese super-toilet for a real defecatory delight….