Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 18, 2017

That brief moment when Pig is the smartest guy in the room.

Before commenting, I looked at the Spanish version of the day’s “Pearls.” The contracciones they used were the only known two in the Spanish language: del+el=del and a+el=al. Portuguese has (from what I’ve learned) approximately three contrações: de+o/a(s)=do(s)/da(s), a+o/a(s)=ao(s)/à(s), em+o/a(s)=no(s)/na(s).

Makin’ bacon?

Pigita might still be having pregnancy contractions, and Pig just hasn’t got it yet …

And according to the majority of people on the internet, would’ve = would of.

Pigita is a Soong android, er, gynoid, er, sownoid?

>>Tsk, tsk, tsk, Pigita, are you behavin’, Miss?

>>Ain’t misbehavin’…

I’d’ve thought you’d’ve known better, Goat.

Get it?

Got it.

Good.

Whatever else you may think, it’s a labor of love.

Whewww!

Just Pigita and me, and contractions make three

We’re happy in my blue heaven.

Rat, please, go get your baseball bat. Please.

Who knew Pigita was an android designed by Dr. Noonien Soong?

What I don’t get is why “will not” contracts into “won’t” instead of “willn’t.” Where did that “o” come from? At the least, it should be “win’t.”

Stephan, would you please teach us about the possessive contraction? It’s not “Debbie’s sox are purple.” It’s “Debbies’ sox are purple.” That was what I was taught many, many years ago.

Wow! I feel like I just received a semester’s worth of education!!!

Was that a pregnant pause?

I believe the discussions on this particular bit of English nonsense displays a perfect ‘example’ of why it’s so difficult to “disguise” a non-English speaker as a ‘native’! English is one of the ‘easiest’ languages to speak “understandably” and one of the hardest to speak “properly!” As I told my students, English is the ONLY language where the phrases “A ‘fat’ chance” and “A ‘slim’ chance” have the exact same meaning! And, whether they used it properly, or not, my boys also learned the correct usage of “shall” and “will”! (end of rant – descending from ‘soapbox’)

Ah, Rats! I thought there would soon be little piggies running around here. One little piggy would go to the bank, another little piggy would go to the market, and another little piggy would go to……….

And should/could/would+have, is NOT should/could/would OF!!!!

I’ll = I will

Another one for you.

xxx

Schweinerei !

I feel vastly superior to most of the people on the Internet just because I know how to use “your” and “you’re.”

Oh how I wish you had also put: you are = you’re

don’t get it

Pigita may never learn. Goat may never achieve Clarity.

And we will come back for our daily dose of masochism, every day! Thank you, Cartoon-Boy, sir! May I have another?