Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for November 24, 2017

As they say, “The boy just needed killin’.” And they was right. He’d done it before, 6 or 7 times,

I’d definitely call that justifiable homicide. He was probably the kind who reads every line of a contract before he signed it, too. It’s a mystery he was still breathing.

That is very funny, in a macabre sort of way, LOL!

The Express-not lane.

And it was Black Friday!

No jury would convict you.

Yes, we all have felt like that!!!

Just like the women who KNOW they’re going to pay by check but don’t think to enter ALL the info on it except for the amount BEFORE leaving the house.

Whatever happened it Justifiable!

I tell people behind me to go to another line because I’m bad luck. No matter which line I get on the person in front of me will have trouble finding the coupons; will need to decide what they have to return because they don’t have enough money; will argue about the price and have to have a clerk go and check the price; or the cash register breaks down!

From a Washington DC psych hospital, during the 1980s:

One sweet, diminutive, elderly patient sometimes wandered the halls. She had been committed to the hospital after she stabbed someone in a supermarket. She was what is sometimes referred to as a revolving-door patient: She was schizophrenic and heard frightening voices in her head, and when she became psychotic enough, she would be hospitalized, stabilized on medication, and then released back to the community. There she would soon go off her medication, become psychotic, be rehospitalized, stabilized again on medication, released, etc.

At her commitment hearing, she testified that she had become extremely upset in the grocery store before repeatedly stabbing the man in front of her in the checkout line. The hearing officer, aware of her history and sympathetic to this woman with such a sweet demeanor, asked helpfully if she had been hearing voices at the time. Yes, she replied, she had. “And what were the voices telling you?” the officer inquired supportively. She explained that the voices were telling her not to hurt the man, but he had gotten in the express checkout lane with more than 10 items, and that made her so mad that she couldn’t stop herself.

I write 1 or 2 checks a month yet. What I hate is when a person will stand there and look through their change and pick out one coin at a time then have to check it over, then find they don’t have enough and use another bill to pay the rest.

…And THAT, Your Honor, is when I shot him!