Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 16, 2018

Pig has to write a letter because he has no internet.

Poignancy is where you find it.

….Until a beautifully pleasant message came from the heavens saying “We’ll be there to repair your cable at exactly 3pm today, see you then.” And hope was found again. The end

His complaint letter is quite the page turner!

Pig has shown us that he has the ability to be a good writer. He just needed to find something that he cared deeply about.

Ha ha. It’s funny because he wrote it on paper first before typing it on the computer.

No Goat, it’s more like a horror story!

I can relate…We got stood up by the A/C repair guy on Friday, but (fingers crossed) he is supposed to show up today.

Gather ye cable cords while ye may,Old Time is still a-flyingAnd this same internet that smiles todayTomorrow may be dying

They do exist! I’ve seen their trucks anyway. Hopefully those aren’t decoys.

And it never gets better. Over and over again, our hearts are broken …

All great novels begin with, “It was a dark and stormy night.” Everyone knows that…

The 4 Hour Window – by Pig

Exactly why I cut the cable TV cord – 25 years ago.

Soviet Russia, 1985. Man goes to the local agency to ask for a repairman to fix his television. He is told he must wait until April 18th 1996. Morning or afternoon, he asks. Why, asks the aide. I have the plumber coming in the afternoon, he says.

Godot will get there sooner.

Dear Pig,

We apologize for the delay in responding to your service request. We are having difficulties finding new service technicians to service your area.

It is not us, it is you. You taunt our service technicians by wrapping yourself in a blanket, or smearing apple butter and sunning yourself under the cable connections to the point they can smell that ummm ummm sweat bacon, and they fall off the ladder.

In the meantime, our insurance company has asked that we break up with you.

Your Cable Service

How I feel waiting for the subway train.

Ah! The agony of TV-lessness!. I pity the poor Pig!

SOUNDS LIKE MY DAYS WAITING FOR COMCAST.

We wil be there in a window between the hours of 8am to 5 pm between July 17, 2018-2028. We look forward to providing outstanding service.

Seems right