Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 21, 2018

R u not worried about being sued by Faux news

Like being clobbered by a crystal ball.

Being retired means you never get a day off.

Trash, yes; Litter boxes, not my job. When I had a cat I did that chore too but Peanut isn’t here anymore.

Never argue with the spirit guide because it’s guaranteed to make the s@#t hit the fan, and that’s not a proper way to clean a litter box.

“Never off the clock?” A bit like insurance agents.

I think I used to be married to her.

“And the coffee grounds tell me that unless you get those cats off the table, you’ll be living in the shed!”

I think we know who the “spirit guides” are here :-)

In grave danger or in danger of a grave?

She seems more like the crazy cat lady type. Maybe she should clean out the litter box.

I am sure those are her cats, not his.

Truth be told, I boarded a friend’s three cats and really, really miss them. When I visit my friend, the three all come trotting up to me. You would think I would feed them kitty treats of something.

And yet she didn’t foresee that morning when she woke up and he was gone.

I live alone, have cats, dogs, chickens, and a rabbit. I do all of the chores. Cats are lovely animals, but essentially useless around the house.

I’d be taking the cats out, along with the litter box !

Most of the cats that have owned me, over the years, were indoor/outdoor cats and the litter box was their last resort.

She’s not kidding – you don’t get to the box right away the ammonia gas from it will kill you.

HAHA … I just did both just 30 minutes ago

RE: litter box – Ever seen one of those thin plastic sheets for rolling out baking dough? the stick-free ones? Cut one down and put it in the bottom of a 14 × 18 × 6″ deep plastic bin. Perfect litter box. Every few days, slide the whole thing into a plastic bag, turn it upside down, tap, and the plastic sheet drops all the litter into the bag. Remove the bin and sheet, rinse both in the laundry tub, dry them, and refill the assembled bin and sheet with fresh litter. Tie off the bag and drop it in the trash bin. Done. No big deal. I’d much rather empty a litter box than bend over picking up dog poo or cleaning off a smeared-up poo grabber.

JIMHO, I don’t think dogs belong in a city environment. Dogs need room to roam, and places to do their business that do not require being attended by a Human to pick up after them. Keeping a dog penned up in a house or apartment verges on cruelty. As for lap-yaps, I have no use for them.

While I’m on a roll here, please, if you have a dog of ANY size of description, please, I beg you, do not take it in the car with you except to go to the vet and back. Make sure it is secured with a proper safety harness restraint, not just loose in the car. Consider 3 to 70 lbs of loose animal flying about inside the car if you have an accident … broken bones, and a defensive, scared, angry animal challenging rescue service people and having to be put down in order to help you! And that says nothing about what that weight flying through the air does to other occupants of the vehicle. I have been an EMT and had to deal with this, so don’t think I am kidding.

Another point, don’t let your dog stick its head out of the car window. First, if it can get its head out, it can get all of itself out. Even if ‘secured’ by a leash, the last thing you want to do is to drag your dog to death. And, given enough opportunities, your dog will take exception to a dog (or cat) in another vehicle and try to jump over to get at it. Lastly, letting a dog put its head out of the window is an excellent way to blind it. Dogs do not have a good blink reflex, and 40 to 70 mph wind can dry out the corneas of their eyes in seconds. The cornea dies, becomes opaque (white) and they are blind.

And when she says “Grave Danger” she means she’s already bought your Tombstone.

All it needs is that Second Date filled in.

It’s a Granite Litter Box for the top of your grave. And the cemetery offers Perpetual Cat Care in that section.

BTW, here’s another tip for easing the household chores. Whenever we go to the grocery store, I always have them pack my stuff in plastic bags. [GASP! Oh, NOOOOOnononono!] Yes. First, I save the largest bag and hang it by the ‘handle’ openings between two of the 3M stick-on hooks on the side wall of my broom closet. Then as I unpack groceries, I shake out each empty bag and lay it on the counter. When done, I gather the bags together and, starting at the closed ends, run them between my thumb and forefinger to press out all the air. Then I take them by the closed ends again and shove them into the large bag, leaving the ‘handle’ ends standing upward. I can put about 6 or 7 lbs of bags into that large one that way. Our local Walmart has a huge box in the lobby for recycled bags, and once every couple of months I take the full bag there and start over.

Meanwhile, those bags? I use some of them for lining my trash baskets throughout the house. I put 4 of them in the bottom of each basket and use 1 so it is a liner over the others. Then for the next 5 weeks, on pickup day I just whip out those liners, grab one spare and use it to replace the liner. I can clear the house of trash in about 6 minutes, including the kitchen trash. Garbage goes into my disposal, or if too large for that (think: watermelon rinds, etc.), into my garden compost heap. Those bags also work well for nasty spill cleanups – everything dirty goes into a bag and gets tied off, then into trash or recycle, whichever is appropriate.

And why is it his job, when they are obviously her cats. Time for a catectomy in this household. Lol