Texts From Mittens by Angie Bailey for December 20, 2018

Take a hit of nip, Mittens. It’ll all seem normal then.

Do you think Drunk Patty would share the three French men?

I would pay money to see the Drunk Patty lyrics all at once. And then I’d sing it until after New Year’s.

Poor Mitty. Perhaps under the bed might be safer #shewontlookthere

Shades of Bob and Doug McKenzie: “And a beer … in a tree.”

“Five Water Wings…♩ ♪ ♫ ♬”

Five Tubeless tires…four quarts of gin, three cigars, two cigarettes, and some hair tonic on a pear tree (Stan Freberg, Green Chri$tma$)

It sounds like chez Mittens is pretty wild with Drunk Patty in the house. Just pray she doesn’t have mistletoe, Mitty. #Kissykissy.

If there is such a thing as a beer tree, rest assured Drunk Patty will find it.

Or as I’ve heard …

Five onion rings! Four calling cards; three French toasts; two turtlenecks; and a six-pack of Bud Light.