Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 29, 2019

George, r u still alive‽

Welch’s™ now offers a protein stream for that young man or woman in your family with a taste they’ll love!

Now we know why this guy is an invalid. His privates are covered with globules of cheap fats. I’m not sure what albuminized means regarding grape juice, but I’ll just wait for the album to come out… or watch it on YouTube.

Pistachio PacMan violence!

Who are we feeding the sick to? Is this a soylent green thing? Is there enough meat on the bones of these invalids for some invalid cookery? I knew things were tough in Froglandia this winter, what with meat being a seasonal thing and all, but this is sad. Isn’t there a free cheese distribution program going on by the Sisters of the Perpetually Lame and the The Monks of Mediocrity?

Smile, you’re on Iron Chef Froglandia! (Thinking about the look on the face of the guy in yesterday’s cartoon about occupational titles.

Another comic of questionable morels, I see.

a COOKBOOK a CHEFBOOK

There was a time when even euphemisms weren’t politically correct.

We need to see a few more panels to see it that nutshell catches that nut.

And the morel of this story is…

Penicillin! Stat!

I realize that’s a morel mushroom….but ….uh……I think it….uh…..

oh, never mind

Yes. The general rules. Until he goes home.

Froglandia is the home of Froglandia International Care at Home. (F.I.C.H., pronounced the same as “fish”.) They specialize in providing advice and services to persons requiring care but not a dedicated care facility. This includes proper diet and exercise for invalids. Trained care facilitators are able to regularly visit any home with a person requiring some low level of care. They are also able to provide referral to a care facility, (Little Sisters of the Lame, usually), and emergency transport, if needed, in their familiar, trademarked lime-green three-wheeled vans. In winter months, you may see a FICH Van with a wide ski attached to the front wheel and treads replacing the rear drive system. Fun fact; the rear wheels on a FICH Van have separate drive trains, and are able to work independently of each other. In winter usage, this helps with steering. While this tread and ski arrangement reduces absolute speeds attainable, it allows the use of secondary pathways when the roads are unreliable. Froglandia has more bike paths than roadways! Nobody in Froglandia actually has a bicycle.

Is that “inVAlid” or “INvalid”?

FA samples Pacman.

The latest stunning images from Froglandia’s own electron microscope stun all the lame onlookers. This precise instrument, capable of illuminating the most mystifying facts and furthering the most arcane speculations of particle physics, is wasted on Froglandia’s dim populace, of course. There is, however, a small segment who always show up with their crayons, hoping for a chance to participate in science.

As the FAAS Shutdown enters it’s second week, there is no agreement between those those want a massive Fishnet Wall and the supporters of unrestricted Lame.

ANCHOBY MOREL PIZZA

Sorry you are Feeling the Lame today from deficient cookery (too many chefs?). But be careful on what you nosh. Some things are not fit to be fitted into the human mouth, especially when bedight in tuberosities of dubious ilk. Never just follow the Pac, but rather use your own judgment. Eat well and live long (tiny nod to the Vulcan apothegm)….

Not a very good text capture, but all of the phrases can be found here:

https://archive.org/stream/ohiouniversitybu1914ohio/ohiouniversitybu1914ohio_djvu.txt

I haven’t found a better quality version of this.